Insertion

Part 44: Carrot and Ranma's Bogus Journey

by Sean D'Anna

=====

Ranma frowned as he stared at the three newcomers. They were holding practice in 
the middle of an abandoned lot near Hotaru's home. Ryoko was being pounded by 
her sister quite nicely; Hotaru was merely meditating off to the side, waiting 
for her turn to spar. All who were able were currently transformed, and Ryoko 
wasn't having a nice time of it.

Ranma sighed and held up his hand, halting the match. "That's enough for now."

The older woman staggered back to her feet, looking rather worn and beaten, but 
not really hurt. "You punk. Why the heck do I have to learn like this?"

Ranma leveled a small playful glance at her. "The times you will need this 
power, will be battles. It has no other useful purpose that I've found. Using it 
at any other task would just be a waste of energy."

Ryoko snorted and staggered over to Hotaru's side. "You learned it this way?"

"I found the power on my own," she replied calmly.

Ranma found himself the recipient of a rather nasty stare.

"I learned this way," said Chibi-Usa as she smirked at her. "Hotaru is a special 
case."

"What's that supposed to mean?" snapped Ryoko as she glared at them.

"It's nothing," said Ranma. "We have something you don't. That's all."

The woman was about to protest this, but something stopped her. 

"So, there you are," said Urd as she stared at him from across the lot. 
Belldandy moved up beside her with a frown on her face.

"Well, if it isn't the goddesses! How nice!" said Ranma cheerfully.

"Demon!" snapped Urd angrily as she started forward.

"Calm down. I'm holding a class at the moment," he said as he nodded towards the 
trio of girls.

Belldandy blinked at him. "Class?"

"Yes, these three are my students," said Ranma as he stood up and dusted off his 
pants.

"So, you're some sort of Lore Demon?" said Urd as she eyed him for a moment.

"Lore Demon?" said the boy in confusion. "I'm afraid I don't read much. I'm a 
little busy for that."

"Pop," said Chibi-Usa nervously.

"Calm down," said the boy as he glanced at her. "All of you." He turned and 
looked at the goddesses for a moment as he said this. "I'm pretty sure I know 
what you're upset about, but fighting over it now won't help anything."

"We've come to send you back to where you belong!" snapped Urd.

"Where would that be?" asked Ranma as he arched his eyebrow at the woman.

"Nilfleim," replied Urd coldly as a ball of power formed in her palms.

Ranma narrowed his eyes at her and frowned. "I'd rather not fight, but you two 
are trying my patience."

Belldandy frowned at this, remembering his actions the last time they met. He'd 
been running the whole time. "Does he know he's outclassed? Or is it something 
else?" she muttered out loud.

"You're awful confident," snapped Urd.

"Killing a goddess isn't something I want to do you know. I'm not what you 
think," he said calmly.

"Oh really?" said Urd coldly.

"No," he said as he smiled at them gently. "I'm actually a pretty nice guy. Come 
on, can't we talk about this?"

"Urd," said Belldandy as she looked at her older sister for a moment.

"What the heck is going on? Who the heck are these chicks?" grumbled Ryoko 
irritably.

"Goddesses," said Pluto as she appeared between the two women in a swirling 
vortex of power. "More than a match for the likes of you."

"Well, I already said I'd rather not," he replied with a simple shrug.

Hotaru stood up and looked at Pluto for a moment in silence.

"At any rate..." started Pluto.

Ranma appeared behind her, holding a sign. "Sleeps naked! Photos only 3,000 
yen!"

"Will you stop that?" growled the woman as she glared at him.

Both Goddesses stepped away and gasped. 

"He's fast," commented Urd.

"Look, I'd love to get into this with all of you, but you're bothering my class. 
Could you come back later?"

The Senshi frowned at him and glanced over at Chibi-Usa for a moment. "You 
shouldn't be here. You don't belong, your very existence is wrong."

The girl stood up and mooned her. "Kiss it Puu!"

Pluto growled and turned towards Ranma. "That is your fault!" she snarled while 
pointing at the child.

"So I've been told," he replied dryly. "I understand Usagi rather enjoyed it."

"Usagi?" muttered Urd as she looked at the boy.

"You shouldn't be..."

"What? You expect me to let Endimyon get his grubby little claws on such a sweet 
piece of ass?" snorted the boy as he turned away from her and stuck his nose in 
the air.

"Eww! Gross Pop!" cried Chibi-Usa.

"Who are you?" asked Belldandy as she stared at the scene in confusion.

"Ranma Saotome," replied the boy with a small shrug. 

"How dare you!" snarled Pluto angrily.

"You know...if I'm married to Usagi...he's available..."

"..." said Pluto. "What would you know?"

"I know more than I'm letting you know about," he said with a smirk on his face.

"It means nothing, you have to be destroyed," snapped the Senshi angrily.

"Oh? How noble of you, giving up a life long dream just for some flimsy future 
that you can't guarantee will come about."

"Who said you were married to Usagi?" snapped Pluto.

Chibi-Usa raised her hand.

"You stay out of this!" snarled Pluto.

"Who are these people?" muttered Urd as she watched the argument. 

"They seem to have forgotten about us," said Belldandy with a worried looking 
frown.

Ranma lazily picked at his ear, looking at the sky casually. "You know, the 
goddesses might be upset you left their gate unguarded..."

"Hey. That's right! What the heck are you doing here anyway?" said Urd as she 
glared at the woman for a moment.

Pluto blinked and stared at them for a moment. "I uhh...I left the Senshi of 
Time in training to guard it. She needs the practice..."

"Shirking your responsibility that way? How shameful!" gasped Ranma.

"Mind your own business!" snapped Pluto.

"At any rate, lying to your bosses and telling them I'm a demon..."

"I never told them that!" snapped Setsuna hotly. 

"How do you know she works for us?" said Urd as she eyed the boy for a moment.

"Huh?" Ranma turned to look at her and grinned. "She's my ex-fiancee of course." 
The truth was, he was just guessing. 

"You're a threat to the future of this planet and the Galaxy!" snarled Pluto.

"Actually, I'd say I'm your only hope...Puu," said Ranma cheerfully.

"Don't you dare call me that!" snapped the Senshi angrily.

"What is he talking about?" said Urd as she stared at Pluto for a moment.

"He's..." for a brief moment, she considered lying to them just to be rid of 
him. However, lying to a goddess was never considered a good idea. "He's 
Genaku's reincarnation."

"I see," said Belldandy as she looked him up and down for a moment.

"We don't need him," said Pluto as she glared at the boy for a moment. "He's too 
dangerous to leave wandering the Earth. He's already changed the future once, 
and the past as well."

"Has he?" asked Belldandy as she looked at him for a moment and frowned.

Ranma snorted at them. "You don't really think the Senshi can beat those Youma 
Lords without me do you?"

"They haven't awakened their true power yet," said Pluto coldly.

"Right, they haven't even reached their Super forms yet," said Ranma with a 
smirk on his face. "You still don't have the crystal, and that one thing was the 
weakest of them."

Pluto narrowed her eyes at him. There was no way he should have all this 
information. She looked at Chibi-Usa.

"Pluto, you should leave now," said Hotaru as she stood up and stared the woman 
down.

"Who are you?" snapped the woman as she glared at the child.

Hotaru detransformed, a cold looking smirk on her face. "Someone you can't lead 
around blindly."

The woman gasped and stepped back. "Saturn!?"

"I've been watching you since I woke up. I must say, I'm quite disappointed in 
you," said the girl calmly. "It pains me to see you reduced to this."

"How dare you!?" cried Pluto. "Allying yourself with him?! You have no idea what 
he's done to me!"

"You are mistaken Pluto, I know exactly what he's done to you in the past," she 
replied calmly. "I was there after all. He is, and always will be my Sensei."

"So...he isn't a demon?" asked Urd as she looked at Pluto.

"Unfortunately, no," replied the woman with a frown on her face.

"Well. I'm glad that's settled," said Ranma as he turned away. 

"Cocky little mortal isn't he?" snorted Pluto.

"He has the power to destroy a world, something no mortal should have," said 
Belldandy.

"Well, I've saved this one a few times," commented Ranma as he glanced back at 
the goddesses. "I don't want much, just a little peace and quiet. I've managed 
to get her younger friends off my back, but she's rather persistent."

"That doesn't excuse you for what you did," replied Urd coldly.

"I can't fix it," he said as he glanced over his shoulder at her. "I've also got 
a class to teach if you'll excuse me."

"Let me kill him," growled Pluto.

"Leave him alone," said Urd. 

"What?" said Setsuna in shock.

"He's right about one thing, we can't touch him," said Belldandy. "He is to be 
judged as everyone else will be, and he's the only mortal on the planet strong 
enough to face what is coming. For now, he is off limits."

Pluto frowned. "What do you mean?"

"He and his friends defeated the Sub-Zero program," said Urd calmly. "That's no 
easy trick."

"You came here to kill him didn't you?" retorted Pluto.

"No, we came here to send him back to Nilfleim. We thought he was a demon," said 
Urd calmly. "If he isn't, there isn't much we can do at the moment."

"Since when are you so passive to the activities of the mortal realm?" said 
Pluto sharply.

"Don't forget who you're talking too," warned Urd.

"Right," said Pluto as she bowed her head slightly. "Forgive me."

"I know you're upset, but there are rules we have to follow these days," said 
Urd calmly. 

"So, what can I do then?" asked Pluto.

"Stop talking about killing me right in front of me, that's what," said Ranma as 
he glanced at them with a frown on his face. "Jeez, don't you have any tact?" 

Pluto frowned at him and turned away. "I'll deal with him later then."

"You shouldn't even be here," said Belldandy with a chiding tone.

Pluto quickly vanished into the porthole she created before they could say 
anything more.

"Honestly. She used to be so responsible!" muttered Belldandy under her breath.

+++++++++++++

About an hour later, Ranma was sitting with his mother sipping tea lazily at the 
Saotome home. The others had all returned to their respective homes after the 
training had ended.

"Your father still eludes me," grumbled the woman with a frown forming on her 
face.

"Well, he is good at running away. I'll say that for him if nothing else," 
commented Ranma dryly. 

"We've got a lot to talk about," said his mother calmly.

"Oh?" he said as he arched his eyebrow at her.

"Yes. I would like you to come stay with me," she said as she sipped at her own 
tea calmly.

"What brought this on? I told you I'd like to finish the school year at least," 
he replied calmly.

"It is obvious that you have no intention of marrying any of those girls," said 
Nodoka as she leveled a small smirk at him. 

"True enough," agreed Ranma.

"As a matter of fact, Nabiki seems to be afraid of you," continued Nodoka.

"I suppose she is," agreed Ranma.

"Do you wish to tell me why?" asked Nodoka.

"She thinks I'm crazy," he said with a small shrug. "No big deal."

"Are you?" prodded Nodoka with an unusual amount of calm.

"That's a matter of perspective," he replied. He noticed her hand pass over his 
cup when she thought he wasn't paying attention. He said nothing and didn't see 
anything inside the liquid. It didn't even ripple.

"I feel you are as ready as you're going to be," said Nodoka as she smiled at 
him. 

"Ready for what?" he said as he picked up his cup and drank the rest of his tea, 
leaving it in his mouth for a moment to taste for anything unusual before 
swallowing. "Mother."

"Yes my son?" she asked.

"What have you been slipping me in my drinks lately? I haven't been able to 
figure it out."

The woman paused and looked at him for a moment innocently. "What do you mean?"

"Every time we get together this way, you put something into my cup. I haven't 
felt any different lately, and I can't figure out what it might be."

"My, you are perceptive," said the woman with a smirk on her face.

"Oh?" he said as he arched his eyebrow at her.

"Just a little of my own power," said the woman with a small shrug. "I was 
hoping you wouldn't notice."

"Power?" he mumbled as he looked at the cup.

"It was the subtlest way I could think of," she replied sweetly, a hint of 
malice in her voice as her gaze turned cold suddenly.

Ranma stood up and frowned at her. "Something is up with you."

"Yes my son," she replied with a small nod. "I have been quite active since you 
and your father left me all those years ago."

"Busy huh?" he said as he crossed his arms. "Busy with what?"

"You should know, the darkness inside you has been slowly eating away at your 
very being since the day you returned to me," she said as she stood up and 
smiled at him.

Ranma stepped back as a sort of shimmering image washed over her body. "Oh 
shit!"

"My son, now you are mine," said Beryl as she glared at him coldly.

Ranma felt a pain in his shoulder and slumped down to his knees in shock and 
agony. "What the hell? That mark!" He jumped out of the room, dashing through 
the door as the woman watched him calmly.

++++++++++++++

Five minutes later he was leaning against the wall of a building in the streets 
of Tokyo. He scratched at his shoulder madly, finally ripping it away to reveal 
a swelling red mark. "Damn! This is because of her!" snapped Carrot as they 
stumbled into an alleyway and fell into a pile of garbage bags.

"What is that?" snapped Dan painfully.

"AAAAAAAHHHHHH!" cried Ranma as he turned their head towards the mark, it was 
looking at them.

They stumbled out of the pile and staggered forward as it grew larger and 
larger, pulling away from their body. 

"What the hell?" cried Carrot in shock.

A head, exactly like theirs was looking back at them, giggling madly. "Hiya!"

"Shit!" snarled Dan as it continued to pull away from them at an alarming rate, 
forming a torso of it's own as well.

The thing punched them in the face as they stumbled away smacking them 
relentlessly. "Ha! Take this, and this!"

Carrot decked it across its jaw.

The thing blinked and glared at them for a moment before continuing the assault. 
This time, the trio attacked back leaving the appearance of demented Siamese 
twins beating on each other.

Finally, Carrot maneuvered the thing into a wall and it fell back, finally 
separated from them.

"Well, that wasn't very nice," said their doppelganger. 

"Who the hell are you?" snapped Ranma angrily as he moved them into a combat 
stance.

"You're good Ranma, and I'm bad Ranma," said the thing merrily. It started to do 
a little dance in front of them, chattering as it smacked them repeatedly.

Ranma frowned, and the lightsaber appeared in his grasp. He poked the thing in 
its face with it and grinned. "Good, Bad, I'm the guy with the lightsaber."

The thing merely grinned at them and they paused, a sudden pain forming in their 
chest. "What?" muttered Carrot dumbly.

"Heh. I've seen that movie too," said the evil Ranma as he watched them slump 
down in front of them, the reversed end of the lightsaber poking through their 
chest. His face changed, no longer the idiot's grin and now a mask of calm 
intelligence.

"Damn," muttered Ranma as he found himself on his back. The others hadn't spoken 
yet. Or more precisely, couldn't speak. "I'll get you for this," he muttered.

"How? You're already dead?" said the thing. It turned away and waved at them as 
it strolled out into the street. "Sayonara."

Ranma felt the world go black.

++++++++++++++++

He woke up and blinked as he pushed himself up with his arms and glanced around. 
"Where am I?"

He paused when he noticed another figure lying beside him, passed out cold. 
"Who?" He rolled the man over and gasped as he recognized him, it was a person 
he'd only seen in his dreams. "Carrot?"

The man groaned and sat up painfully, he shook his head and looked at the 
pigtailed boy for a moment. "Ranma?"

"What happened? Are we asleep or something?" 

"We must have passed out, that damn thing got us," said Carrot as he staggered 
to his feet and helped Ranma up as well.

Ranma blinked as he realized that the boy's arm was solid, he was grabbing him. 
"Hey. I can touch you."

"Huh?" said Carrot dumbly as he realized it. "Wha?" Ranma's fist was the next 
thing he saw. "Ouch! What the hell was that for?"

"I've been wanting to do this for a long time now," said the pigtailed boy 
coldly as he moved into a combat stance.

"We can worry about that later! Where the hell are we?" said Carrot.

Ranma paused and looked around. "Funny you should mention that..." he commented 
as he realized what was around him.

"Oh fuck," said Carrot simply as he glanced around as well. They were standing 
on top of a large pillar of jagged stone, all around them flames and boiling 
lava roared angrily. There were millions of others below them, screaming and 
writhing in agony. 

"Hello boys," said a voice from above them. 

They both turned to see a woman staring down at them from above, a cold smile on 
her lips. "Welcome to eternity."

Ranma blinked as he recognized her. "Hey. You're that demon chick from 
before..."

"I was hoping you'd stay alive longer," said the woman as she landed between 
them. "Too bad. Oh well, off to eternal damnation with you!" She smiled 
cheerfully and snapped her fingers. The pair vanished in a flash of light.

+++++++++++++++

Dan frowned as he found himself standing next to Pissant in an elevator of some 
kind. "Where the heck are we? Is this another one of Ranma's weird dreams?"

"I don't know," said Pissant with a shrug.

Dan looked up at the ceiling. A single speaker was above them, and it began to 
play Kenny G music. Immediately he started screaming as if in pain. "Oh shit! 
We're dead, and we've gone to hell!"

Pissant was smiling cheerfully and trying to hear the nice music over Dan's 
screaming. "Quiet down would you? I like this part!"

"Noo! I have to spend eternity with you?!!" said Dan in horror. He paused and 
noticed that he could see the annoying voice for the first time. "Hey. I can see 
you..."

Pissant blinked and glanced at him. "So you can." He was a blond boy with 
shoulder length hair, he actually didn't look as wimpy as Dan had thought he 
would, but was still on the smallish side.

The elevator stopped, and the pair looked at one another as the doors opened. 
They stepped out and glanced around in confusion. Soft music played all around 
them, and there was a large set of gates in front of them.

An old man in white robes smiled at them cheerfully. "Welcome!"

Dan glanced around. "Heaven?"

"Indeed! Such fine mortals!" said the old man cheerfully. "Come! Come!" he 
beckoned to them.

"There must be some mistake. There's no way I should be here," muttered Dan to 
himself.

"The sign of someone who truly belongs here," said the old man with a wise 
looking smile.

"Wow! Neat!" squealed Pissant happily as he looked at the city on the other side 
of the gates.

The old man peered into a book and smiled at them warmly. "Oh my! This is the 
first time any of your kind has appeared here! What a fine day it is!"

"Our kind?" said Dan in confusion.

"Saiyans. We've never seen a single one pass through the gates!" said the old 
man happily.

Dan blinked and looked behind him, the tail was still there. Pissant had one as 
well. "Whoa."

"Well, it seems you both don't have much of a record. Only a few months on the 
two of you," said the old man cheerfully. "Seems not one of you has done much at 
all."

"Um...We were kind of stuck in someone else's body," said Dan as he looked at 
Pissant and shrugged. 

"Yes," agreed the cheerful looking spirit.

"Well, that explains some of it I suppose," said the old man as he calmly closed 
his book.

"But...I had a whole life in my own body," muttered Dan in confusion.

"Yes, it seems there was a bug in the system a while back," said the old man 
with a sagely nod. "You were mistakenly placed into someone else's body. Out of 
another dimension no less. It is of little consequence. Only the deeds you 
performed in this world matter."

Dan blinked; Carrot and Ranma were the ones who did almost everything of 
importance. He'd done little, and hadn't even killed anyone. Not from lack of 
trying so much as not really having the opportunity. "Oh."

"Hey! Lucky break!" said Pissant as he smacked the boy on his shoulder.

"Hey. Where are Carrot and Ranma?" he wondered out loud.

"Those two?" said the old man with a small frown on his face. "They are where 
they belong. Disgusting creatures, they destroyed an entire world! I was 
backlogged for a week!" 

Dan looked at him for a moment and blinked. "Oh." After a moment he shrugged his 
shoulders and smiled to himself as he walked through the gates with Pissant.

+++++++++++++++

Ash Ketcum stood overlooking the dark cloud of mist that had appeared in the 
middle of the room. He was standing on a balcony in the middle of a theater, 
watching the famed Pokemon opera 'King Picaku' with his friend's Mist and Brock.

"Prepare for Trouble!" cried a voice.

"Make it double!" said another voice.

"Oh no! Not these guys again!" whined Ash as he stood up from his seat with his 
friends.

"To protect the world from devastation!"

"To unite all people's within our nation!"

"To denounce the Evils of truth and love!"

"To extend our reach to the stars above!"

"Jessie!"

"James!"

The pair appeared from the middle of the could and posed proudly, a familiar 
figure hanging his head in between them. The pair elbowed him and he glared at 
them.

"Junior Trainer Carrot," he muttered lamely.

"Team Rocket blast off at the speed of light!"

"Surrender now, or prepare to fight," said Carrot as he pulled a small popper 
from his pocket and pulled the string, sending a rather pathetic stream of 
confetti into the air.

"Meowth! Dat's right!" said Meowth as he appeared with them.

"Man, who could have known hell would suck this much," grumbled Carrot lamely.

"We have come to steal the famous acting Pokemon!" cried James.

"We'll stop you!" said Ash and his crew as they appeared in front of them.

"Oh no! It's those kids again!" cried James.

Carrot looked at him in irritation and frowned. "You know. I'm getting a little 
sick of all this."

"Huh?" muttered everyone as they turned to look at him.

"How come I'm taking orders from you weenies? You're idiots! I'm smarter than 
the three of you combined!" he snapped.

"Hey! You'd better watch it kid!" snapped Meowth.

"Yeah, yeah," grumbled Carrot. "Look..."

"Obey your superiors and steal those pokemon while we keep these brats busy!" 
snapped Jessie as she slapped him.

Carrot growled at her, but stumbled off to do her bidding. "I can't believe I'm 
doing this still." He frowned as he looked down at the small electric rat as it 
prepared to shock him. "All this just so I can be some pokemon trainer. I don't 
wanna be a pokemon trainer!" He blinked as if he had just thought of that. "Hey. 
I -don't- want to be a pokemon trainer!"

Everyone looked at him.

"Then why are you doing this?" said Misty as she stepped forward. "You could be 
our friend! You don't have to work for these two!"

Carrot blinked and looked at her for a moment, and then back to Jessie and 
James. "Nah. These things are worth money!" he cried as he turned to look at the 
Pikachu in front of him. He ripped out a section of the ground and hefted it 
over his head. "Heh!"

The Pikachu screeched and stared at him as he swatted it like a fly and knocked 
it out. "I wonder how much it's worth to his owner to get him back?" he chuckled 
to himself as he stuffed the animal into a sack after putting it into a 
Pokeball.

"Still a jerk," grumbled Misty.

Carrot turned to smirk at her. "I'm through with these idiots!" He pointed at 
James and Jessie. "I can do better on my own!"

"You little ingrate!" snapped Jessie as she moved to slap him. He decked her 
dead in her face.

Everyone looked on in shock as Jessie toppled over and fell flat on her back out 
cold.

"Stop him! Pikachu!" cried Ash as he released his pokemon.

Carrot chuckled and rolled off to the edge of the stage, pulling one of the 
spears used in the production into his grasp as he did so. "Come on you little 
rat!"

Pikachu blinked, Carrot had three pokeballs on his belt that he normally used to 
fight him with. 

"Well? Aren't you going to fight? I'm challenging you to a pokemon battle!" 
cried Ash.

Carrot swat the rodent aside with the spear, the blade was little more than a 
piece of plastic, but the wooden staff suited his needs nicely. "Naw. My pokemon 
all suck. I mean, I've got a Chansey, a Ditto, and a Psyduck for god's sake!" He 
pointed his pokeball at Pikachu and captured him. Grinning, he put that into his 
bag as well.

"No! Pikachu!" cried the boy as he rushed forward. 

Carrot slammed the spear across his face, sending the boy sprawling across the 
ground in pain. He looked up at him with tears in his eyes. "No you can't!"

"Watch me," replied Carrot coldly as he rushed towards the other two trainers.

They backed away in alarm, taking their own pokeballs from their belts. 

"No! Get away!" cried Misty.

"Move it chick! Before you get hurt!" snapped Carrot as he dashed by them, 
smacking them both aside with his makeshift staff.

They weren't hit very hard, and staggered for a moment before tumbling into the 
laps of some rather shocked spectators.

Jessie, James, and Meowth simply stared in shock, unable to speak.

"He...he did it!" muttered Jessie.

"That little brat beat them!" gasped James.

"Dis can't be!" lamented Meowth.

++++++++++++++

"You've done well," said Geovanni as he looked at the boy kneeling before him 
with a sack in his grasp.

"You're going to pay me for this," said Carrot as he looked up at the man 
coldly.

"Of course not! You're making the name of Team Rocket proud! That should be 
reward enough!" said the man with a small chuckle.

"From now on, my loyalty is bought," said Carrot as he looked up at the man and 
smiled darkly. "You either pay me, or I walk out and sell these things on my 
own. I'm sure the owner would be more than happy to part with a few thousand to 
get them back."

Geovanni glared at him and stood up in his seat. "What?"

"You heard me," said Carrot with a chuckle of his own.

"Brat! You forget who I am!" snarled the man as he stepped down and raised his 
hand as if to smack him. He paused when he heard a clicking sound and felt 
something against his belly.

Carrot was smiling at him, the barrel of a gun pointed at the man's abdomen. "Do 
you have any idea who I am?" he asked in amusement.

"Well, I'm certainly impressed," snorted Giovanni. "I never expected anyone so 
ruthless to show up here."

"What are they going to do to me? Send me to hell?" said Carrot calmly as he 
stared at the man coldly.

"They just might," said the man as he nodded to himself. "They say that's what 
things like this get you, but then...it's never bothered me."

"I'm already in hell, if I have to be here, I'm going to do it my way," snarled 
Carrot. 

Giovanni nodded and picked up a briefcase from beside his seat, sliding it 
across the ground towards Carrot. "Here. I think we might work well together."

"Stick me with those idiots you had me with before, and I'll kill them," said 
Carrot as he dropped the bag and turned away with the case in his hand.

"I'll remember that," said the man with a smirk on his face.

"Hell indeed," snorted Carrot as he walked out of the room. "I'll show them 
who's punishing who."

++++++++++++++

Ranma was cowering in the corner, nothing but darkness all around him as he 
huddled protectively from the dark things that surrounded him. "No! Get away!" 
He turned to look at them as they closed in, their demonic eyes glowing gold as 
they closed in around him. His entire body was covered in scratches and claw 
marks. "No! Leave me alone!" he wailed pathetically as the demons yowled all 
around him.

He wanted to become one of them, for the darkness to take his soul away and the 
madness to take him into oblivion. This time, it wouldn't come, and he knew it. 
He would spend eternity cowering as he was, the demonic creatures attacking him 
at their leisure. Shuddering he looked down at the ground, his tears evaporating 
away as he sobbed. "No! I can't! I..."

They jumped on him, just as they had for as long as he could remember. He would 
spend days under the claws before they backed away, forcing him to wait in agony 
for a time. He screamed as he felt their teeth biting at his flesh, and their 
claws scraping him away. This time, he knew there would be no release, no 
technique that would make him invincible. He screamed in terror and simply sat 
while they tore at him.

Then it hit him, demons or no, they were just cats. He felt them tearing at his 
body and slowly rose to his feet. He glared at his shaking hands and felt 
disgusted with himself, falling into a deep depression. "Is this...what I've 
become?" he muttered to himself as the animals clung to him and continued to 
attack, despite him standing.

He slowly turned his head and glared at them, a simple chi blast would be 
enough, but not for him. Now, he would at last have his revenge.

"Heh," he laughed and lifted one of the ones on his shoulder by the scruff of 
its neck. "Bad kitty."

+++++++++++

Mara glared at the lesser demon overseeing the torture of the two youths. "What 
the hell is this?" she growled at him. They were lying on their backs with 
rather evil looking smirks on their faces in the middle of a boiling pool of 
magma.

"I don't know! I used the templates you told me to for their torment!" cried the 
demon pathetically.

"They're winning!" she snapped at him. "Do something about it!"

"I'm trying!" snapped the lesser demon as he turned and summoned a pair of large 
ugly demons. "Do something about this!" he screamed at them.

+++++++++++

"Well. I haven't seen you in a while," said Carrot as he smirked at Ash and his 
friends. He was standing on the edge of a boiling lake of lava, deep within a 
mountain. Magmar lay at his feet, covered in the white powder of a fire 
extinguisher. The boy chuckled and lifted one of the balls up, catching the 
animal easily.

"This isn't right! You have to use pokemon to catch pokemon!" cried Misty.

"Oh? And who's going to stop me? I don't care about your pathetic league, I'm a 
rich man," said Carrot as he eyed them for a moment in amusement.

"Doing things like this for money isn't right!" cried Ash.

"Money...I don't really care about the money, or the power," said Carrot calmly.

"Then why?" gasped Ash.

"Sooner or later, I'm going to catch someone's attention, and when I do..." The 
boy's grin widened. 

"What? What do you mean?" cried Brock.

"If you stick around long enough, you'll find out," said Carrot as he turned and 
saw Giovanni walking into the room calmly. 

"Well done my loyal servant," said the man as he walked up next to him and pat 
him on the shoulder. "You're going straight to the top."

"You!" cried Ash in shock.

"Well, Mr. Giovanni, you've outlived your usefulness," said Carrot as he turned 
towards the man.

"Eh?"

Carrot shoved him in his chest, plummeting him into the lava below. "I'm in 
charge of Team Rocket now."

"What?" gasped Ash.

Jessie and James appeared from behind a rock and stared at the boy in shock. 

"You killed him! You killed the boss!" cried James.

"Yeah! You won't get away with dis!" snapped Meowth as he appeared as well.

"Oh? Who's going to contest my rule of Team Rocket now? You?" said the boy as he 
glared at them.

Jessie smacked Meowth on the back of his head. She rushed up to Carrot's side 
and leaned into his chest. "Oh Boss! You know you were always my favorite 
trainer! We could be beautiful together!"

Carrot snorted and eyed the trio of trainers for a moment. "Go away, there's 
nothing you can do now."

"What?" said Ash dumbly as he stumbled back.

"Go play in your pokemon league, live your pathetic lives out, and stay out of 
my way. If I ever see you interfering in my business again. I won't even kill 
you."

"He's just letting us go?" muttered Misty.

"Yeah," muttered Brock in confusion.

"You see, I won't hurt you Ash Ketchum, but your mother..."

"What?" said the boy as all the color drained from his face.

"Wow! A brilliant plan!" squealed Jessie.

"Get off me before I become annoyed," snorted Carrot calmly as he shoved her 
aside. He pulled a gun from his pocket and pointed it at Ash. "All of you have 
families, and I know where all of them live. Thanks to my little adventures with 
these idiots, I've met them at one point or another. You can continue to get in 
my way if you want, and go home to find your family dead, your homes burned. If 
you're off stopping my plans, you won't be there to protect them will you?"

Misty shuddered. "Ash...we should go..."

"But...we can't let him get away with this!" cried the boy in frustration.

"He's right Ash, he's got us. There's nothing we can do," said Brock as he 
glared at the evil man hatefully. "We can't protect them, not when we're away 
all the time."

Carrot turned as something made a noise from in the lava behind him. "It's about 
time," he commented lazily as he strolled back into the center of the cavern. 
"You should leave now." He tossed the trio the bag containing the pokemon he had 
just caught.

Jessie and James looked on dumbly. 

"What are you doing?" gasped James.

"I never cared about any of this," he replied casually. "I've just been trying 
to attract someone's attention. "Someone I could take out my real frustrations 
on." He cracked his knuckles and looked on as a hideous thing blasted up from 
the magma. It was fat and covered in scales. Two bat-like wings jutted from its 
back, and a set of large horns rose back behind its head just over its eyes.

"You're becoming troublesome mortal," said the thing angrily.

"I'm not the one in trouble," said Carrot as he grinned at the thing and spread 
his feet apart. A golden aura of power surrounded his body as the tail he kept 
hidden around his waist uncoiled.

The demon blinked in surprise.

++++++++++++

Ranma was sleeping soundly, a rather contented smile on his face as he lay in 
the middle of the room, unmolested by the animals that now cowered in fear on 
the edges of the wall.

It was a rather unpleasant scene really, as Ranma was lying in and was also 
covered in the remains of around thirty of the things. He yawned and stretched 
his arms as he sat up and blinked. "Huh?"

"You're not taking your torture like you should human," said the skinny demon 
that lumbered into the room and glared at him. It was around ten feet tall, with 
wings and horns like his counterpart. 

"Who are you callin a human?" snorted Ranma as he glared at it for a moment.

"Eh?" said the demon as it looked down at the boy who appeared to have sprouted 
a tail.

+++++++++++

Mara stared at the scene in shock from outside the two souls. "Er...umm..."

The lesser demon sweat nervously as he watched the carnage play out inside the 
minds of the two saiyans. "Maybe you should have said something...or sent some 
stronger demons?" 

"Shut up," growled Mara.

"My, how interesting," said a horrifying voice from behind them.

Mara and the lesser demon both whirled around and fell to their knees.

"Hild!" gasped Mara in shocked surprise. "What brings you here?"

"Bring them to me," said the demon queen as she eyed the two souls for a moment. 
"But wait until they've finished playing with your friends."

"Yes!" cried the pair as they bowed a little lower, scraping their faces against 
the dirt.

++++++++++++

Hild stared at the two souls in front of her, they glared at her but without 
much malice in them. "Who are you?" asked Ranma.

"I am Hild, queen of the damned," she replied calmly as she eyed them. The room 
was only darkness, and they could only see a pair of legs, white fingernails, 
and the eyes of the demon in front of them. "It seems you two have managed to 
escape your torment. A most impressive feat."

"Yeah...well..." snorted Carrot.

"It only took you both twenty years to do it as well, most unheard of," said the 
demoness as she smirked at them.

Neither of the boys looked surprised at this.

"You wouldn't call us here unless you wanted something," said Carrot calmly as 
he looked up at her without fear.

"You wish to avenge yourselves?" asked Hild.

"Of course!" snapped Ranma as he moved towards her a single step.

She narrowed her eyes at him, but he didn't move any more, so she let it pass. 
"I can offer you the chance. However, there is a catch..."

"What's that?" asked Carrot. He was also deeply interested in this offer.

"You will become one again, but it won't be the same this time." said Hild 
calmly.

++++++++++

Ranma Saotome staggered to his feet, he was in the middle of a dark alleyway 
somewhere in what looked like a destroyed section of Tokyo. "Where the hell are 
we?" he muttered angrily as he staggered through the darkness for a moment.

"Carrot?" muttered Ranma as he tried to think.

"Yeah. I'm here. I feel sick as hell though," grumbled the other voice in 
frustration.

"What happened to us?" asked Ranma as he noticed a few dirty looking people 
running away from them through the alleys in terror.

"I dunno, last I remember, we were talking to that Hild chick. There was more 
after that, but I think she took it away."

"So? Now what?" asked Ranma as they seemed to feel a little better and get their 
bearings straight. 

"Come on, let's check out where we are," said Carrot. 

They jumped up onto the nearest rooftop with a single bound, landing lightly on 
the top of the building. "What the..." muttered Ranma in horror as he stared out 
into the distance in shock.

"Oh man," said Carrot as he stared out at the remains of Tokyo. There was little 
more than shells of buildings remaining. Destroyed, burned, decimated. "What the 
hell happened?"

"I think...we did," said Ranma as their jaw hardened in anger.

"That evil us..." said Carrot in horror. "But..."

Everything seemed to make sense, without them around, he could easily take out 
those who might be a threat to him later before they suspected anything was 
wrong with him. "Damn," growled Carrot. "We've got our work cut out for us 
then."

"It's too late already," said Ranma sadly.

"Maybe, but I for one am not going to let this bastard enjoy whatever he gained 
by doing this." Carrot clenched their fist in front of their face and looked at 
it for a moment. "Oh...Oh no! No! Noooooo!" He fell to his knees clutching his 
head in horror.

"What? What is it?" cried Ranma in alarm.

"Look at us!" cried Carrot. 

Ranma blinked and looked down at their body. Something was indeed different. A 
nearby metal vent, long since covered in dust and soot, was roughly cleaned away 
with a swipe of their arm. The reflection was dirty, but still visible.

A figure dressed in black, red, and white, was staring back at them. A huge red 
cape hung over their shoulders, and a pair of green eyes peered soullessly back 
at them. "What the hell?" gasped Ranma in shock.

"We...we're a hellspawn!" cried Carrot as he shoved his fist through the metal 
in frustration.

++++++++++++

"Angela, we have one," said Belldandy as she walked into the room where the 
angel was relaxing. 

She was a beautiful woman, with long red hair and a stunning body. She paused 
and looked at her master in confusion. "Hellspawn?"

"Yes," confirmed Belldandy.

"Why would they send one there? The place has already fallen," said the woman as 
she stood up and frowned.

"There is still the faintest glimmer of hope there," said Belldandy. "I fear if 
this problem isn't taken care of, it will vanish forever."

Angela nodded slowly. She knew the world was lost, there were a few desperate 
souls remaining, but they would soon be lost, once the evil power that had 
consumed the world grew tired of playing with them.

"It is a dangerous place," said Belldandy.

"I know," said Angela as she lifted up her spear and gave the woman a hard 
frown. She vanished in a flash of light, leaving Belldandy standing alone.

"Good luck. I wish I could bring myself to return with you, but..." she turned 
away and left the room in silence.

++++++++++

TBC...

Heh. Well, now that I've pulled the unexpected on you, I'll bet your wondering 
what the hell is going to happen next? What happened to everyone? What of the 
rest of the collective? How did this change things? How on earth am I going to 
fix this mess? And finally, how the hell am I going to keep something like this 
funny? Stay tuned to find out! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!