Insertion Part 25: Ranma Saotome and The Temple of Doom by Sean D'Anna ===== "Shit!" Ranma blinked as he walked with Hanna and Serena towards the temple the villagers had directed them to. They were walking in a relatively barren area along the edge of a steep cliff. There was nothing but small weeds and dirt for miles ahead of them. The evil looking temple loomed over them on a mountaintop in the distance. "What's up?" Hanna was on her hands and knees, peering down a small hole in the ground. "I dropped my keys!" "Huh?" said Serena dumbly. "They fell down this hole," grumbled the woman as she peered down the crack in the earth at her feet. "Reach down and get them," said Ranma with a small shrug. "I can't see them...this is really deep too!" said the woman in frustration. "We can't get back on the ship without them can we?" said Ranma with a scowl forming on his face. "No," replied Hanna flatly. "Great," muttered the boy as he sat down in the dirt for a moment. "I guess we dig." "Where's that cave go?" asked Serena as she noticed a man sized hole in the ground about a hundred yards away. "I dunno," said Ranma with a small shrug. "Let's find out. I'd hate to dig all the way down there just to find out we could have walked to them." "That doesn't seem like such a good idea," muttered Hanna. "So stay here then," replied Ranma with a small shrug as he stood up and started walking. "I'll go with you," said Serena cheerfully. "Come on then," said Ranma as he waved her towards him. "Fine! I will stay here then!" snapped Hanna irritably as she sat down in the dust with her arms crossed over her chest. ++++++++++++ Just inside the cavern, Ranma pulled a flashlight off of his belt and flicked it on. "Stay close, we don't know what's in here." "We don't?" muttered Serena nervously as she clung onto his back. "No, we don't," said Ranma as he pushed her away a little. There was a wall of cobwebs ahead of them, and he brushed them aside and paused. "You know, this is the wrong movie." Inside the cavern was an ancient and crumbling ruin of some kind. Statues were crumbling away with time, and roots and cobwebs hung from the ceiling overhead. "What?" asked the girl in confusion. "It's nothing," he replied calmly as he continued forward. "Look, maybe you should just wait outside. This place looks like it might have a few traps set up in it, and I'm not sure if they still work or not." "No way! It's creepy out there!" said Serena as she backed away a little. "And you don't think it's creepier in here? There's nothing outside but dirt," said Ranma as he turned to look at her in surprise. "Well, you're not out there..." said the princess with a small blush forming on her cheeks. "And then there's that really weird looking building on the mountain..." "Right, come on then, and don't touch anything unless I say," he said with a small defeated sigh. +++++++++++ Outside, Hanna pulled a small box from her traveling bag. "I'm hungry she muttered as she started to open it. She paused when she felt something brush up against her leg. Slowly, she turned her eyes down and screamed in terror at the huge insect that was beginning to crawl up her leg. She tossed the box into the air and jumped back, firing several shots with her blaster and vaporizing the insect, along with about a foot of the ground around it. After a moment, she paused and looked down at where she had dropped her lunch. "Shit!" She peered down the hole once again and groaned in frustration. "This just isn't my day." +++++++++++ Ranma and Serena found themselves walking down a narrow hallway with several small windows along one wall, they were very high up, and shone down on the hallway giving a small amount of light to the room. "Wait!" said Ranma as he pushed Serena back against the wall, preventing her from moving foreword. "What is it?" she muttered fearfully. "Stay out of the light." "Okay," muttered the girl with a confused looking frown. Ranma stuck out his hand into one of the light beams and...nothing happened. He pulled his hand back and sighed with relief. "False alarm." "Okay," replied Serena as she walked along behind him cheerfully. They reached the end of the hall without incident and Ranma turned towards the hallway again. "I could have sworn..." Several walls of spears poked out of the wall along their path, just in front of the light beams. "EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" cried Serena in alarm as she jumped onto his side and clung to him. "Oh, I guess this place is kinda old," said the boy with a small shrug as he continued foreword. +++++++++++ A moment later, they found themselves looking at a small bottomless pit. "How are we gonna get across this?" muttered the princess. "Huh?" Ranma lifted her up into his arms and hopped across easily. "That's how." "Oh," said the girl with a heavy blush on her face as he put her down. "Are we coming out this way too?" she asked hopefully. "Probably," he replied with a small shrug. They walked into the next room and paused. There was a small golden statue, a box, and a set of keys all sitting on a pedestal in the middle of the room. "Well, that was easy," said Serena as she started foreword. "That's what scares me," said Ranma as he shoved her into the wall again. "Could you stop that?" said the princess with a small frown on her face. Ranma looked at her and picked up a large broken piece of wood from the ground nearby. He placed it on one of the diamond shaped tiles that lined the floor and pressed down slowly. It gave way, and a split second later a small dart was embedded into the wood. "On second thought, do that whenever you feel like it," amended the girl. "Right," replied Ranma with a small smirk. "I'm going to get those keys, you wait here." Just as he started to step forward, a terrifying sound met his ears. It ran chills up his spine and he backed away from the room. "Niyou." The sound was repeated several times as about a dozen cats started to walk out onto the floor fearlessly. "Is something wrong?" asked the princess. "Cats...why'd it have to be...cats?" muttered Ranma as he edged back towards the door. He turned towards Serena and smiled weakly. "Look, you're gonna have to go get those keys." "Me?" said the girl in shock. "I have this little problem with those things out there ya see," said the boy nervously as he pointed towards the cats. "You mean those kitties?" muttered Serena in wonder. "Shut up and go get the keys!" snapped the boy as he glared at her for a moment. "But...I'll get stuck by those darts," she replied nervously. "Look, just don't step on any of the tiles shaped like that. The other ones are all safe," said Ranma as he pointed at one of the diamond shaped stones. "Oh. I guess I could..." said the girl nervously. She took a tentative step forward and started on her way. After several moments, she was standing in front of the pedestal. She picked up the keys and looked at the statue for a moment. It was a golden cat with jewels for eyes. "Pretty!" she exclaimed. "Don't touch that!" warned Ranma. Serena looked back at him and shrugged her shoulders as she put the keys into her pocket. Then she saw the box. "What's this?" She lifted it up into her hands and opened it. Ranma winced, but managed to keep silent as she picked it up. After a moment, nothing happened and he breathed a sigh of relief. "So? What is it?" "I dunno. Food," she replied as she showed the open box to him. "What should I do?" Ranma looked at the contents and shrugged. "Leave the statue, take the cannolli." "Okay," she replied as she whirled around to head back. Ranma's jaw dropped as her hair flew in a wide arc, and knocked the statue off of the pedestal. It shattered on the ground, revealing it to be nothing more than cheap ceramics. "Oopsie," said Serena as she looked at what she had done. A low rumbling filled the room and Ranma cursed under his breath. "Run you idiot!" "Huh?" muttered Serena as she looked up and saw the wall beginning to collapse behind her. "EEEEEKKK!" she cried as she tore across the floor. Darts whizzed by as she rushed back towards Ranma. Occasionally, an angry sounding yowl would sound as the projectiles struck one of the animals. Serena finally made it and rushed into Ranma's arms. "I did it!" she cried. "Yes! Ten points!" cried Ranma as he raised his arm into the air. "Huh?" muttered the girl in confusion. She turned to see all twelve of the cats were lying on the ground with darts stuck in them. "Oopsie," she repeated. "Come on!" cried the boy as he pulled her along behind her as the temple started to crumble around them. They rushed into the next room and Serena looked up at Ranma again. He picked her up into his arms again and she hugged his neck tightly. Once he landed on the other side she refused to let go and he continued to run forward as the wall threatened to close them into the room. He moved into the next area of the temple and looked back. "I think we missed something." "Why are you stopping?!" cried the princess as she kicked her feet in alarm. "Oh. Right," said the boy as he started forward again, rushing through the hall of spears again. Once on the other side he paused and looked back over his shoulder. "Three, two, one..." All the spears shot out from the wall again. The temple seemed to have calmed now, and Ranma put the girl down. "We should be all right from here. No, wait... there's something else..." "What is it?" she muttered nervously. Another rumbling started and the pair looked back to see an oversized smoothed down boulder rolling down on them from the ceiling. "That," said Ranma as he grabbed her hand and started to pull. They rushed through the hall as the huge stone bore down on them, making it to the entrance just ahead of it. "I don't want to dieeeeeeeee!" cried Serena as Ranma lifted her into his arms and jumped out of the exit. ++++++++++++ Hanna blinked as she stared down the hole. There was a lot of muffled noise coming from down there and she struggled to hear what was happening. "What the hell are those two idiots doing down there?" She suddenly paused and blushed. "It couldn't be! He wouldn't! She wouldn't!" She put her face up against the hole, and...promptly got a face full of dust as a huge geyser of it shot up from the hole. +++++++++++ "Well, that was pointless," said Ranma as he sat up from where he had landed. Serena was lying across his lap, a look of fear still etched onto her features. The girl seemed to come to life all at once, latching onto his neck and bursting into tears. "You! You saved me!" "Hey! Cut that out," snapped the boy as he pulled her away. "Let's just go. All right." +++++++++++ "Well, here we are. Now what?" said Hanna as she looked at the pair. "We could go up to the palace...or we could take that suspicious looking cave over there. The one with the keep out sign, and the painful screaming and whip cracking coming out of it," said Ranma as he laid out their choices. "What are we gonna do? Go up and ask them if they have an evil cult living under their palace?" said Hanna snidely. ++++++++++ "Hiya!" said Ranma cheerfully as he adjusted the gray ball cap on his head and smiled at the man who answered the door. "Who are you? Do you have an appointment?" said the stuffy looking man in a turban. "No. We're exterminators," said Ranma cheerfully. "We got a call about an evil child stealing cult in your basement." "Pardon?" said the man in confusion. "Yeah. You gotta take care of these infestations fast, or they rise up and make the villages miserable. So, where's the door to the basement?" Ranma walked in with the two girls directly behind him. "Um...this way?" said the confused looking man as he led them into the home. "I can't believe this worked," muttered Hanna dumbly. ++++++++++++ "This is the basement," said the man as he crossed his arms and glared at them. "We don't have any evil cults as you can plainly see. Now I'm afraid I'm going to have to ask you to leave." They looked around and saw nothing more than a wine cellar. Ranma looked at the man and paused. "This is the palace of the Thugee isn't it?" "No," replied the man with a small sigh. "That place is on the bottom of the mountain. You take a right at the cave at the base. They keep taking the road sign down. This is historical Al'shira. No one lives here, and I'm a tour guide." "Oh," said Ranma dumbly. "Well, sorry to bother you then." "Quite," replied the man in irritation. Ranma conked him on the head and sent him into the dust. He fell on his face out cold. "Why did you do that?" asked Hanna. "He might be in league with the evil cult. I don't want him warning them that we're coming." "Oh," said Serenity. "Come on," said Ranma as he walked towards the stairs. +++++++++++++ Ranma looked up at the imposing temple that was carved into the side of the mountain. There was about a dozen guard milling about the front with blasters at their sides. "Well, let's go," he said as he pulled the large shotgun like weapon off of his back. "Wait! What the hell are you doing? You're just going to walk up there and start shooting?" snapped Hanna as she grabbed him by his arm and stopped him. "Well...yeah kinda," he said as he looked at her. "That was my plan anyway." "But...we'll die," said Serenity nervously. She was holding a weapon much to large for her and scuffed her feet in the dirt. "Come on, these are lousy minions. They never shoot good," said Ranma cheerfully as he cocked the weapon. The group paused as the guards began to toss glass bottles into the air and shoot them. Not one of them missed. Ranma looked at the two women and shrugged. "Okay. New plan." +++++++++++++ "This is your plan? Go in the back way and start shooting?" grumbled Hanna as she hid behind the cover of a few boulders with Ranma and Serenity. "Yeah. Catch em by surprise," he said cheerfully. "I'm gonna scout ahead, you two wait here." ++++++++++++ A short time later, he turned a corner stealthily and blinked as he found himself standing on a set of railroad tracks. "Huh?" he muttered dumbly as a small light formed a short distance ahead of him. A small mining cart was speeding towards him. The occupant was screaming madly in terror as he rocketed towards the boy. Ranma blinked once, and fired his weapon at the base of the vehicle. It flipped over several times in the air before crashing down into the ground rather loudly. He winced and looked around, after a moment nothing happened and he breathed a sigh of relief. He walked over and kicked the former occupant of the cart, he had been flipped out when the boy had first stopped it. It obviously wasn't human. It jumped up, two huge floppy ears on its head moving erratically as it looked around nervously. The thing had a duckbill and leathery skin. "Ohhhhh..." "What the?" muttered Ranma as he lowered his weapon and stared at it for a moment. "You! Yousa saving me! I berry berry grateful! Mine being Jar..." Ranma screamed and ignited his lightsaber, hacking the thing in half where it stood. "No freaking way!" Hanna and Serena rushed up behind him. "What was that noise?" said Hanna. "You killed it!" cried Serena as she looked at the thing's remains. "Had to be done," said Ranma calmly as he closed the saber and hooked it back onto his belt. "Didn't seem very hostile to me," muttered Hanna. "Trust me," said Ranma as he looked at them. "It -had- to be done." The pair shrugged their shoulders and started walking after him as he moved off. "I thought I told you two to stay put," he muttered as he looked back at them for a moment. "Well there were all these guards, and you weren't there, so I..." started Serena. "Never mind, just come on," said Ranma as he moved into one of the caves. ++++++++++++ "What is this?" said Serena as she looked down off the edge of the small cliff into a large open room filled with men in loincloths bowing to a huge skull like shrine. "Some kind of ritual I guess. Either that, or a mass tanning booth of some kind," replied the boy as he pointed at the lava pit between the worshipers and the shrine. "I like that first one," said Serena. "I think so too," agreed the boy cheerfully. "Ugh, you'd think with all this mining, they could afford some decent clothes," said Hanna in disgust. A huge squealing animal was brought onto the shrine by about four men. They pulled it over to a large metal harness of some kind and latched it in. While this was going on, three other men walked into the room with small stones in their grasp. They were smooth, and had crescent moon symbols on the front of them. They began to glow as they came closer to one another. "What are those?" said Hanna. "I've heard of stones like those. When they're brought together, the diamonds inside them are said to glow," said Ranma with a small nod. "Diamonds?" muttered Hanna as she looked back at him. "I heard it was crystals actually," said Serena. "Something like that," replied the boy with a small shrug. "Don't get me all excited like that!" cried Hanna angrily. A man dressed in a long dark cape, with a scary looking horned skull hat on walked onto the shrine. He raised his hands into the air and glared out at the crowd before him for a long moment. "Our task is complete! Rejoice!" He ceremoniously walked over to the animal in the cage and took out a small bowl of something. He dipped a small brush into the substance and began to paint the animal with strange, messy, swooping motions. "Praise be to she who will deliver us into prosperity!" The cage was turned sideways, and the animal began to squeal loudly as a pit opened up underneath it. Two large men lowered the animal down slowly into the heated lava below. The stopped when the squeals stopped and locked the chains where they were hanging. The animal was several hundred feet above the surface of the heated lava. A great cry of triumph roared from the worshipers in the crowd. They jumped up and started dancing excitedly. Several long poles were brought out, and the men began to dance excitedly. "What the hell?" said Ranma in confusion. "Some sort of sick ritual?" muttered Hanna. "No, it's a..." "Luau, for the managers of the project," said a voice from behind them. Ranma turned and fired a single shot. A large man in a turban jumped back and raised his hands in alarm. He had been standing behind them watching the scene purposefully. "The one for the security force is next week. The workers had theirs last night!" muttered the man fearfully. "Who are you? What's going on here?" snapped Serena as she stepped foreword. "Princess Serenity!" cried the man fearfully. "I had no idea you were here to visit! Please forgive me!" The man bowed deeply to them and Ranma lowered his weapon. "What the hell?" he grumbled as he watched the man prostrate himself in front of them. ++++++++++++ "They told you that we were an evil cult who stole their sacred stone, and enslaved their children?" muttered the well-dressed man who sat across from them at an elegant looking table in a dinning hall. "Well, yeah," said Ranma flatly. "We just came to check things out, and that's when we found your little party." "Well. I'm very disappointed then. We contracted their children to work in the mines. They sold them to us, along with their sacred stones. It wasn't our fault they wasted the money." "You contracted the children?" said Hanna in disgust. "The tunnels we use are very small, the children are well fed and rested. We are not a slave force after all. Their quality of life here is better than the village they came from. They were all returning at the end of the week anyway. We only wanted them for a month or so, we needed the extra hands, and none of the adults were willing to work here. All of them sent their children instead." "An entire village of Genma Saotome," muttered Ranma in shock. "Who?" said Hanna as she turned to look at him. "It's nothing," he replied. He then turned back towards the man again. "What are you digging for anyway." "We found what we were looking for actually. The three sacred stones are an ancient power that was sealed away millennia ago, by one of the distant relatives of the young princess and the queen. Serenity wanted us to find them for her, when the three stones are broken, and the crystals inside brought together, they form a powerful magic crystal." "The Silver Imperium Crystal," said Ranma with a small nod. "Yes, I see you've heard the legend," said the man with a cheerful smile. "Of it yes, I've never actually heard the whole story though," replied Ranma with a small shrug. "The whole story is a family secret," explained Serenity cheerfully. "No one knows it but the queen and princess of the moon." "To protect the location of the crystals. General Nephrite will be here in about a week to retrieve the crystal, and return it to the queen," said the man cheerfully. "I must say, it was a surprise to find you visiting us." "Yeah, well, we've got to get back soon. Places to be and all that, we've got a bit of work to do before we take off though." "I'll arrange for a transport for you," said the man cheerfully. "That'd be nice," said Hanna. "It was a long walk." "By the way...Why didn't we just take the landspeeder?" muttered Serena as she suddenly seemed to think about it. "Ummm..." said Ranma as he tried to think of a reason. "ARRRGGGHHH!" cried Hanna as she hit her head on the table in frustration. "I must say. I've heard rumors that the princess was missing. I'm greatly relieved that they aren't true," said the man as he smiled at the young girl for a moment. "Heh. Well, thanks," said Serena nervously with a blush forming on her face. ++++++++++++++ "Ready?" said Hanna as she sat back in the cockpit of the ship and started the engines. "Let's just get out of this place," said Ranma with a heavy sigh. "Where to next?" said Serena cheerfully. "Well, you said you were going to Mercury right?" said Ranma with a small sigh. "Yup!" replied the girl cheerfully. "I guess we might as well head that way. They won't be expecting us there." Ranma pointed at the spot on the star chart and smirked. "We'll just drop you off there, you can do your little mission, and that'll be the end of that." "Right," muttered Hanna as she pulled back the controls. The ship jumped into light speed and threw them all back into their seats suddenly. "Hey. I just thought of something," muttered Ranma dumbly. "What's that?" grumbled Hanna. "We could have just left her with that guy, Nephrite would have given her a ride home, and...AAAAAARRRRRRRRGGGGGHHHHH!" He hit his head on the control panel in frustration. Serena merely smiled blissfully. "You asshole! Why didn't you say so sooner!" cried Hanna. +++++++++++++ "Senshi, we don't need their scum," commented one of the commanders on board the flagship of the imperial fleet. He paused and looked up to see a shorthaired blonde woman glaring down at him. The pathetic man swallowed and scurried away. Queen Serenity paced in front of the short-skirted warriors. Seven of the nine women were present. "Jupiter alone has been unsuccessful. I want you to find my daughter and bring her back, alive." Neptune turned and looked at her for a moment. "No disintegration," said the queen firmly as she paused in front of Uranus. "As you wish," replied the woman icily. "The senshi who is successful will be rewarded once they return quite handsomely. I want my daughter back, I don't care what you have to do to get her back to me alive and unharmed." "What of the threat from the Federation?" asked Mars as she looked at the woman. "I have someone working on that as we speak. Nephrite is currently on a mission for me that will ensure our victory. He will return at the end of the week." Mercury nodded at this and looked over at Venus for a moment. "Now go, and don't come back without my daughter," said the Queen as she turned away from them. "Bitch," muttered Mars under her breath as she followed her fellow Senshi out of the room. +++++++++++++ TBC...