Insertion Part 23 by Sean D'Anna ===== My name is Ranma, and I am insane. Near as I can figure it, the year is somewhere around 10,000 BC. I'm stuck on an interstellar spaceship, probably waiting to die. It all started with that damn spring. Jusenkyo, the training ground of cursed springs. It awoke something, something dark. It got into my head and it went bad, now I've got three idiots living in there besides me. Then, they took over my life. We started a secret organization to protect the earth, fought with Youma and Senshi alike. Doing pretty good too. Then the Senshi got us back. Big time. "You know Ranma, I'm starting to regret letting you watch that movie," said Carrot flatly. "Yeah," agreed Dan. "Well I'm bored, can't we train or something?" muttered Ranma in retort. Carrot looked around; they were barely able to stand inside the ship, much less anything else. "Oh, right," muttered the boy irritably. "All right, what's the sit-rep?" said Dan with a small sigh. "Well, we're in the past, looks like the Silver Millenium," said Carrot. "We appear to be in the middle of some sort of conflict. Which is good." "Good?" said Ranma dumbly. "Sure. You know how these things go. Soon we'll be up to our ass in explosions and fights," said Carrot. "I'm game for that," commented Dan. "If I'm reading this right, we'll have all kinds of little side adventures. Probably get shot at a lot, have to rescue the princess a few times, and then end up in a massive space battle against a huge starship that threatens to destroy an entire planet." "That doesn't sound very fun," said Pissant nervously. "Don't worry, you'll get into it," said Carrot cheerfully. "You forget who you're talking to," said Dan. "Oh. Right," muttered Carrot. "Ouch!" they all cried at once as something hit them on the side of their head. ++++++++++ "I said hand me that wrench!" snapped Hanna angrily as she stuck her head out of the small trap door in the floor below them. "Sorry," grumbled Ranma as he reached out with his hand and the correct tool floated into his grasp. "Here." The woman was too busy to notice this as she was currently working on a part of the ship's engine. "Tell me what happened again?" "This ship wasn't designed to jump that suddenly. We knocked out the warp driver when you almost got me killed!" snapped the woman bitterly. "Oh, you really should get a regulator for that," said Ranma as he peered down at the mess of wires below. "Not all of us can afford things like that!" snapped the woman. "You should relax more," commented the boy with a small frown as he looked at her angry face. "Are you out of your mind? I've got an intergalactic princess on my ship! I'm being hunted by every military in the system! I'm just a working girl trying to make ends meet! I shouldn't have to deal with this crap!" "Let me get this straight. You're on what's probably the biggest adventure of your life, rescuing a princess no less, and you're bitching because of your lousy job?" said Ranma flatly. "I like my crappy job damn it!" snapped the woman as she glared up at him. "I was happy, content! Until you came along and made me one of the most wanted criminals in the Universe!" "Um, you guys should come up here," said Serena as she stuck her head around the corner for a moment. "Huh?" said Ranma dumbly. "Now what the hell is it?" snarled Hanna angrily. ++++++++++ The pair walked into the cockpit and frowned at what they saw. "Bloody hell," muttered Hanna. "Hey, that's a battle cruiser, a big one too," said Ranma as he saw the large ship bearing down on them. "What are all those little things?" said Usagi as she noticed several smaller objects coming out of the hull of the ship. They looked like little gray triangles. "Fighters," said Ranma calmly as he sat down at the console. "We're gonna die!" said Hanna desperately. "You're almost done fixing that right?" asked Ranma as he looked back at her for a moment. "No!" she snapped. "Better get moving then," he replied with a shrug. "Gahhh! What the hell are you planning?" said the woman as she grabbed the back of his shirt. "I'm betting they won't ask any questions either, at least not until they blow this ship apart first." "That's not good right?" muttered Serena nervously. "No it isn't," replied Hanna with a defeated look on her face. "Here they come," said Ranma as he turned on the ship's engines and shot forward into the first formation of fighters. They broke apart, firing lasers at them as they moved by. They were almost triangular in shape, but with a flat nose. They were also somewhat wedge-shaped. Ranma spun the ship on its axis and put the engines on full. "Sit down and strap in." Serena did so without question, a cheerful smile on her face as she buckled herself in. "Don't look like you're having so much fun. You're gonna piss the captain off," he said without looking back at her. ++++++++++++++++ Hanna worked desperately as the ship lurched violently around. Occasionally it would shake from a blast from some of the lasers fired by the fighters outside; it was remarkably rare though. Tears flowed down her face as she worked. "My life is over, I'm gonna be a criminal forever!" Another explosion sounded outside, signaling the demise of yet another of the Imperial fighters. "Wahhhhhh!" The ship jolted again and she jerked her head up just in time to miss a toolbox falling on her. She blinked and looked around for a moment. "That wasn't a laser blast. Something hit us!" +++++++++++++++ "What the hell is going on up here?" snapped Hanna as she rushed into the cockpit. "Asteroids," replied Ranma calmly as he pointed at the floating field of rocks outside. The star fighters were still buzzing about and shooting at them, but were much harder pressed to keep up. They were still on the outer edge of the field, and the large starship was closing in on them. "We're...doomed. They've got us cornered now," said the woman as she hung her head in defeat. "I wouldn't say that," said Ranma calmly as he turned the ship. "What the hell are you doing you crazy son of a bitch!" screamed the woman as she clutched the back of his chair. "Going in," said the boy calmly. "Wait. Did you just say that we're flying into an asteroid field?" said Serena as she turned to look at him. Ranma just nodded as he piloted through several of the larger stones. "She's right! You are nuts!" "Well, they'd be crazy to follow us," he replied. +++++++++++ "What the hell are they doing?" said the captain on the bridge of the battle cruiser. "Sir...they're going into the asteroid field!" said one of the men below him at one of the workstations. "Those crazy sons of bitches! They've got the princess on that ship! Go after them! Stop them!" cried the captain. "Get me a readout of the makeup of that field!" One of the men was already doing it. "Sir, that field is mostly iron and...carantium." "What?" said the captain in shock. "Tell those pilots no firing! I want those weapons locked!" ++++++++++++ Ranma was whistling to himself as he turned the ship and narrowly missed being crushed by two large asteroids that collided, crushing one of the fighters behind him. He wasn't paying much attention to what he was doing, because he was looking at a readout on the screen in front of him. "Hey, this is a carantium field. Neat." "What?" said Hanna as she turned to look at him. Her face had gone completely white. Serenity was siting quietly next to them. She had an iron grip on the dashboard and was simply staring foreword in terror at the chaos outside. Hanna opened her mouth to speak and almost passed out as the surface of one of the asteroids passed no more than a foot above them. One of the fighters tried to follow and was destroyed by a protrusion from the stone. Serena spoke up suddenly. "I'm almost afraid to ask, but what's carantium?" "High explosives," replied Ranma casually. "Heh. I knew all those hours of 'Wing Commander' would pay off one day." He turned to look at the pair for a moment and smiled cheerfully. "I'm gonna move closer to one of the big ones." "Closer?" stammered Hanna. She finally slumped to the ground. ++++++++++++ "Your Highness! We have cornered the ship, but they have entered a large asteroid field, and we dare not go after them..." Serenity's holographic image narrowed its eyes at the man and she scowled. "I want that ship Captain, not excuses." "Yes, Your Highness," he muttered nervously. "They must have been destroyed by now though. There isn't much we can do..." "They are alive Captain. I know my daughter has not died yet. Bring her back to me." The transmission ended, leaving the unfortunate man standing there alone. He swallowed and turned back to the entrance to the bridge. ++++++++++++ "Where am I?" muttered Hanna as she looked around at where she was lying. "Bout time you woke up," snorted Ranma calmly. He was sitting on the counter in the living area of the ship. It was a small room with about four beds lining the walls, and a small table. There was also a kitchen area about four feet wide on one wall. "We're alive?" gasped Hanna in shock. "Yeah. You never told me you had Anti-matter missiles," he said with a lopsided grin. "What?" she stammered dumbly. "I found 'em earlier. You had them hidden under one of the secret panels along the floor. I thought you weren't a smuggler?" "I'm not, but I go through deep space sometimes. They're illegal, but Pirates tend to leave you alone if they know you've got them." The woman blushed and turned away from him for a moment. "Where are we anyway?" "Inside one of the bigger asteroids," said Ranma with a small shrug. "I think your warp driver is a little more than burnt out. We need a new one. Let's see if we can find a disturbingly convenient place nearby where we can get it fixed." He motioned for her to follow and walked over to a computer screen at the table. Hanna blinked and nodded as she stood up and walked over next to him. "Hey! Lando!" said Ranma cheerfully as he pointed at a spot on the screen and grinned. "It's just the name of a comet," she replied flatly. "I know, it's sort of a private joke," he replied with a small shrug. "Where are we anyway?" she muttered angrily. "Well, our jump brought us to the outer rim of the Solar System," said Ranma with a small shrug. "We're in the orbital ring of Pluto, but the planet is on the other side of the solar system right now." "Are there any space stations near here?" she muttered as she typed a few buttons on the keyboard and frowned suddenly. "Yes. Karin." "Station?" said Ranma dumbly. "No, he's the name of this guy I know," she said with a small blush on her face. "He's on this station, it's a sort of resort near Uranus's orbit. We should be able to make it." "Told ya," said Ranma as he looked at Serena and smirked. "How did you know that?" muttered the girl as she handed him a few bills. "Are you some kind of psychic or something?" "Nope. Seeing the future is hard. Always in motion is the future," replied Ranma with a cheerful smirk. He turned towards Hanna next. "Can we trust this guy?" "No, he's a jerk, and a pervert, but he is an old friend. He should help us out," said Hanna with a small frown. "He's also our only option." "Well, I guess we should go then," said Ranma with a small nod. "We'll wait here a few hours and see what we can do with it until then. They should stop searching after a while, thinking we were destroyed or escaped." ++++++++++ "It has been too long my Queen, they must have been destroyed by now. We can find no trace of them," said the Captain nervously as he looked at the image of the Queen again. "No. They are alive still," she replied calmly. "Then they have escaped. They could have been lucky enough to get through the other side of the Asteroid field and warped away. We'd have no way of knowing." "Very well, Captain," replied the woman coldly. The transmission ended again and the man breathed a sigh of relief. He had halfway expected her to order him to send his ship into the field with the fighters. "Sir! We've found them!" cried one of the crew as he walked onto the bridge. "What?" gasped the man in shock. ++++++++++++ "Shit!" cried Ranma angrily as he flew through the increasingly dense field of stone. Hanna was beside him, sitting uselessly at the co-pilot's station. "Where did you learn to fly like this?" she muttered with a little jealousy in her voice. Three fighters had been destroyed behind them. "I had a long time to learn," replied Ranma calmly as he dove downward along the surface of a particularly large asteroid. He pointed forward and smirked. "There! It's starting to clear up!" He pushed the engines to full once again and shot ahead of the swarm of fighters behind him. Many of the pilots were quite skilled, and had managed to make it through the field with them. "They're still after us!" cried Serena nervously. "Not for long they aren't," said Ranma as he suddenly stopped the ship and spun it around on its axis. "What are you doing?" muttered Hanna as she looked at him for a moment. "This!" cried Ranma as he flipped the safety cover off of one of the buttons and jammed it down. A missile blasted from the front of the ship. As it streaked away he spun the ship around again and shot forward as fast as it would go. "AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!" cried Hanna and Usagi as they realized what he had just done. There was a bright explosion behind them, it missed all the small fighters and went into the field. +++++++++++++ "What the hell is he shootin at?" commented one of the men as he watched the missile go by. That was when he realized that the shot had gone directly to where it was intended. ++++++++++++++ The captain of the battle cruiser looked on in horror as the light slowly engulfed the entire asteroid field. "No..." He turned towards the crew and started screaming. "Evasive maneuvers! Evasive maneuvers!" The entire ship was rocked and thrown violently as the explosion finally reached them. After a long moment the shaking stopped and the bridge hands slowly staggered to their feet. "Damage report," muttered the captain. "Sir. We aren't going anywhere for a while," said one of the men as he looked at the screen. "What?" said the man angrily. The man stepped away from his station and allowed the Captain to move in. The engines and a small portion of the rear end of the ship on the readout was now covered in red. "What's that?" "That's the part of our ship that isn't there anymore, sir." +++++++++++ "Man, that was so cool," said Ranma happily as they moved away from the scene at high speed. The blast had narrowly missed them and he was laughing and cheering as they rocketed away. After a moment he paused and turned to look at the pair beside him. Hanna was frozen with tears streaming down her face. "I'll never...my life is over! I'm doomed to be on the run forever!" "Are we...still alive?" muttered Serena as she began to feel her body as if to check. "Man, you guys gotta lighten up a bit. So, where is this place anyway?" He turned towards the woman and smirked. ++++++++++++ Deep in space, a small ship floated aimlessly. Inside, Sailor Jupiter sat against the pilot's seat with her arms crossed in front of her chest and her eyes closed. The screen in front of her suddenly came to life, bathing her face in green light. She opened her eyes and frowned at what she saw. "So, that's where you went," she commented. "Give me a readout of any spaceports near that area." It was a short list. Jupiter smiled and uncrossed her arms. +++++++++++ "They wouldn't have shot at us if you didn't insult them!" screamed Hanna angrily as she stepped out of her ship with Ranma and Serena. The pair were both wearing long brown cloaks that hid their identities. Ranma looked at her and blinked. One of the patrol ships that had escorted them to their landing port flew by overhead. It had two round engine ports, and a long nose that stuck out in front of them. The cockpit was at the base of the nose, nestled in-between the two engine ports. "Look at it. Tell me that doesn't look like a giant..." "Greetings," said a tall and rather bishonen looking man who strolled up to them. He had guards on either side of him, they were armed with rifles and wore black body armor. The man himself had long blonde hair and a pastel colored purple shirt with a long cape on his shoulders. "Welcome to my humble place of business." Ranma's face suddenly became very serious as he stared at the man for a moment. "Hi Karin," said Hanna with a small sigh. "I need some help here. My warp driver is out." "Of course," said the man cheerfully. "Seeing as we're old friends, I'll only charge you half the usual rate." "Huh?" said the woman in surprise. "Not good," commented Ranma coolly. "What do you mean?" said Serena in confusion. "The way she reacted to him saying that? He's up to something," replied the boy calmly. "Stay close to me, don't wander off." The princess blushed and immediately latched onto his arm. "Not that close," he said as he looked at her for a moment. "I might need to use that arm." She smiled sheepishly and let him go. "Well, at least it's something." "What's up?" said Hanna as she stepped back with them as Kairin led them through the bustling halls of the spaceport. "He's up to something. I can smell it," said Ranma coolly. "He's always up to something. That's why we broke up," said the woman with a sour frown. "He's probably just thinking I came crawling back to him or something." "No, it's more than that," replied the boy calmly. "What are you? Some kind of psychic?" she grumbled angrily. "I don't need to be to see that man is up to something," groused Ranma irritably. "Well, he's fixing the ship. So don't complain," she commented as she turned to look at him for a moment. "Are you sure?" said Ranma flatly. "There's men working on it now. See for yourself," said Hanna as she pointed out one of the windows they were moving by. Sure enough, there were several men moving about the ship with equipment. "Ah, here we are. I thought you might like a bit of refreshment while you waited," said the man cheerfully. The doors opened and a man dressed in a long black cape stood up on the other end of a long table. He had short spiky brown hair, and a long scar running at an angle across his face. "We would be honored if you would join us," he commented. Ranma merely smirked and nodded his head. "See, told ya." "Valdis!" gasped Serena in horror as she recognized the man. Hanna growled and turned towards Kairin. "You! You set us up!" "They arrived before you did," replied the man with a small shrug. "I had no choice." "You've been looking for us?" asked Ranma as he watched the black clad man for a moment. "That fool Serenity sent a description of your ship out across the entire galaxy," said the man coldly. "We've been keeping an eye out for you since then. Luckily, we stumbled across you on your way here. After hearing about what you did to that Imperial Battle Cruiser, we thought it might wiser to set up an ambush here." Several guards appeared outside the doors to the room and they closed, leaving them trapped inside with the two men. "What do you get out of this?" snapped Hanna as she looked at Karin. "Why it's fairly simple. My business is undisturbed by this little war, and I get to keep your ship." "Bastard," she growled. Ranma raised his hand and she grew silent. Valdis smirked and looked at Serena for a moment. "I've heard quite a bit about you my friend. You took out a group of our best assassins, and have been leading the Imperial forces around by their tail ever since you saved the young princess." "Then you know it isn't wise to be sitting in the same room with me this way. It might hurt," replied Ranma coolly. "Hmmm, that's not important any longer," said the man with a small shrug. He raised a small blaster from under the table and fired two shots. Ranma's hand shot up and the two bolts struck his hand harmlessly. The blaster flew out of Valdis's hand and landed in Ranma's. "What?" gasped the man in shock. Ranma was merely smirking at him, after a moment, he dropped the blaster onto the ground and jumped up from his seat holding his hand. "Damn! That really hurt!" Hanna had the weapon in her hand a moment later and trained it on Karin. "Now, darling. You know I would never do anything to hurt you! I was going to have you stay here, as part of the deal!" he cried. Hanna narrowed her eyes and shot him in his face. Valdis was now very nervous, he edged back in his chair slowly. Ranma raised his hand and the chair moved back up against the table, trapping the man where he was. "You know, you've got no idea what you're dealing with do you?" He shook his head violently as he stared at the man in horror. "What should I do with you now? You wouldn't have lasted long against the Imperial army anyway. This is pathetic. You should have had armed guards in the room with you. It was stupid to bring us in here alone." "You'll never get out of here alive," said the man as he narrowed his eyes at them. "My guards have this place surrounded. Surrender now, or..." "Surrender?" said Ranma with a small smirk forming again. "Why would we do that? I mean, we've got the perfect hostage." "No!" muttered the man as he began to shake visibly. He looked down at himself as he wet his pants and stared at the trio with pleading eyes. "This is the great Lord Valdis?" muttered Serenity in disgust. "I hope not," muttered Ranma irritably. "You'd be correct then," said a voice from a speaker within the room. "This pathetic fool is nothing more than a double. A face for the masses to see." "You must be Valdis," said Ranma as he looked around. "Yes, I'm afraid I haven't had the pleasure of meeting you," said the voice casually. "Name's Ranma," replied the boy. "Well, I'm certainly impressed. Guards, kill them all." The door opened and a mass of black armored men trained their guns into the room. "Well shit," muttered Ranma as he looked at them. +++++++++++++ TBC...