Insertion Part 17: Mousse's New Bag? by Sean D'Anna ===== It was evening out over the Pacific Ocean. Mousse stared out across the sea as he stood on the bow of the ship that carried him back to his beloved Shampoo. "I have got to America to perfect my techniques in hidden weapons. Soon, I shall free you my love!" he said with tears of determination in his eyes. "Just you wait Ranma Saotome, I'll have my revenge for all that humiliation soon enough." His thoughts wandered back to the man who had taught him his new skills. "You must have style as well as flare, it is almost as important as winning. Understand this young grasshopper, and you shall overcome all. The stars shine brightly for you my son, go out and make them believe!" He smirked at the speech and brushed his hair out of his face as he watched the sunrise. Large gems sparkled from the rings that now adorned his fingers. +++++++++++++ Meanwhile, back in Japan... "Ready?" said Jadeite as he and the other generals stepped back into combat stances. "Just a moment," said a new voice. Ranma arched his eyebrow as Setsuna stepped out of a porthole and glared at the two groups for a moment. "Hi honey," he said cheerfully. "You! But...you died!" exclaimed Minako in shock. "Not quite," said Tsuki with a smirk on her face. The rest of the senshi turned to look at her for a moment and then back to Pluto again. Setsuna frowned at Ranma and turned to face the senshi for a moment. "You are not ready." "What?" said Usagi dumbly. "Mistress Pluto!" gasped Tsuki. Ranma noticed her back was turned and walked up behind her, he reached out and found his hand blocked by an invisible field of energy. The kick me sign he had intended to place on her back stuck in mid air for a moment before a surge of power incinerated it. Setsuna ignored him and continued to address the Senshi. "If you were to fight them now, you would be destroyed." "Aw, come on. Can't they have just a little bit of peril?" said Ranma with a mock frown on his face. "No," growled Setsuna angrily as she turned her head slightly. "They can take us! I'm sure of it," insisted Ranma. "No they can't," said Setsuna coldly. "But, we weren't even gonna kill em. Just rough em up a bit, you know..." Setsuna rolled her eyes and turned back towards the senshi again. "You will withdraw for the moment." "But..." started Usagi, her eyes suddenly went wide as she noticed Ranma holding up a sign with the words 'Frigid Bitch' written on it just behind her. Minako choked and almost fell forward. Setsuna turned to glare at him, and he quickly put it behind his back. All four of the generals were stifling giggles. "As I said, you are not ready. No arguments," insisted Pluto. Ranma's new sign had the words: 'She blows goats. I have proof!' "Um..." said Ami as she pointed at him. "You must trust me, it's far too soon," said Pluto as she didn't quite understand what the girl was indicating. "But he's..." 'Pluto has a dog shaped birthmark just inside her right thigh!' was the new sign. "Hey! How does he know about..." muttered Tsuki in shocked horror. She quickly fell silent as she noticed the rest of the group looking at her. "What are you all looking at? Go home," said Pluto firmly. 'Jello fetish! Jello fetish! I've got pictures!' "But you should really..." said Ami with a heavy blush forming on her cheeks. "I won't say it again, this barrier won't hold them off for long," said Pluto calmly. The generals were trying their best not to laugh; all of them suddenly fell silent as Setsuna turned towards them again. Ranma was whistling with the sign hidden behind his back. "As for you. Give me those signs," said Pluto with a scowl on her face. Ranma blinked and swallowed. "Um...heh..." He handed them too her and she raised the time staff into the air. "Dead Scream." All four generals were blasted back by the force of the attack; Ranma took it directly and was thrown about thirty yards into the street. A forcefield of some kind erected around his body and he was protected from the brunt of the blast. "Ouch." "You won't be laughing for very long. Go tell your mistress that I won't allow her to succeed," snapped Pluto sharply. "Huh?" muttered Ranma in confusion. "What mistress?" "You think I don't know you're working for Beryl and Metallia?" said the woman as she narrowed her eyes at the group. "Naw, they quit that job. They work for me now!" said Ranma cheerfully as he waved the comment off. "The passage of thousands of years, and infinite darkness in your soul, and you still act like a child Genaku. You disgust me," said Pluto coldly. "Can't we just kick Endimyon's child molesting ass? Come on, give us something!" said Ranma as he dusted off his jacket sleeves and pouted at her. "Hey! I heard that!" said Tuxedo Mask as he whirled around and growled at the group. "What are you gonna do about it you weenie?" said Ranma as he stuck his tongue out at the man. Mamoru growled and started to step forward. "Hmmm, lets see. Credits to yen conversion...five hundred...plus interest...you owe me...Sixty Billion Yen," said Zocite as he worked on his calculator and glanced up at the man for a moment. "What?! That's outrageous!" snapped Tuxedo Mask. "Well, you have accrued thousands of years worth of interest after all," replied the general with a small shrug. "If you can't pay it, I'm sure we can find another way for you to work it off." He gave the man a dark smile and crossed his arms over his chest. Usagi appeared at his side and pulled at his arm. "Come on! Just forget about them for now!" "That can be arranged," commented Ranma with a rough sounding snort. "You stay away from them," snapped Pluto angrily. "Or you'll what?" said Ranma coldly. "I am the Senshi of Time! I could erase your very existence!" she said angrily. "They why haven't you?" said Ranma with a smirk forming on his face. The woman growled at him and clenched her fists. "Come now Setsuna, you know better than to try and bluff me," said the boy casually. "You're as helpless against me as they are. I've got other things to worry about. Besides, I know who they are and where they live. I could have eliminated them anytime I felt like it." "Then why haven't you?" countered Pluto coldly. "Where would be the fun in that?" said Ranma with a small chuckle. She turned away from him and entered the porthole. "Tsuki. We are leaving!" "R-right!" said the girl as she jumped from her hiding place behind a nearby car and followed her mistress. A moment later, the barrier fell. "To the bar!" announced Ranma cheerfully as he started to walk away. The four generals looked at one another and shrugged their shoulders. "You know, being reborn hasn't changed him much," commented Jadeite. +++++++++++ The next morning, before the sun had risen over the horizon, Ranma sat up and scratched his head as something hit him in the face. He mumbled to himself as he lifted the offending object into his hands and flipped it over a few times. It was an envelope. "Huh? Wazzis?" He opened it and squinted as he read the note inside out loud. "Ranma Saotome, I Mousse, formally challenge you to a duel tomorrow evening. Be at the gates of Furinkan High at eight o' clock in the evening." Ranma muttered to himself for a moment and lay his head back down as he went back to sleep. +++++++++++ "You don't suppose Tsuki is..." said Rei with a blush forming on her face. She and the other inner senshi were all sitting around a table in a fast food restaurant. "She could be...I mean... she knew about that birthmark," said Minako with a cheerful smile. "But then...how did that guy know about it?" "Past life?" ventured Makoto. "Could be, maybe Pluto and Tsuki were...you know...changed by the rebirth?" said Ami nervously. "Could be," said Rei calmly. "I'm more interested in how he knows about it. That could be dangerous! How do we know we can trust Pluto?" "Tsuki, she always was a little, you know...odd..." muttered Ami nervously. "Well, if she is..." muttered Usagi with an uncomfortable frown. "Hi guys!" said Tsuki as she appeared with a tray of food in her grasp. She sat down and the girls moved away from her a little. "What?" she said in confusion. "Um...nothing," muttered Makoto. "Hey, you want some of my fries Usagi. I'm not going to eat them all," said the girl with a cheerful smile as she turned towards the blond. "Um, no thanks," said the girl as she moved a little further away. Rei leaned her head forward a bit and watched the girl in silence. "Mistress Pluto?" she wondered silently. "Could it really be that..." "Are you feeling all right Usagi?" said Tsuki as she put her hand on the girl's forehead. "I've never known you to turn down free food." She blinked and noticed Rei had turned an interesting shade of red. "What's with her?" Minako elbowed Rei in her ribs and laughed. "It's nothing really." "Okay," said the girl obliviously as she started to eat. "So, what are you planning to do about those evil guys?" Luna popped her head out of Usagi's bag. "I think it would be wise to follow Pluto's advice for the time being. That one boy has beaten us three times already. There isn't much we can do against all five of them at once." "Still, it seems a bit odd for us to just sit around and do nothing," muttered Usagi. "What did this guy do anyway?" "He was a terrible man," said Artemis as he popped his head out as well. "Probably one of the most evil beings in the universe. He turned the oceans of Venus into gelatin once. He was also the only thing in the galaxy that wasn't afraid of the Senshi of Saturn's power." "Gelatin?" said Makoto in confusion. "Yes," agreed Luna. "This was before he turned to Beryl's side. He destroyed Pluto's moon, and destroyed many great monuments. Most of them as some sort of practical joke." "What do you mean?" said Usagi nervously. "Well, there used to be a statue of Venus in the courtyard of the royal palace on her planet. One day, he decided it would be funny to carve away the clothing so that the statue was nude," said Luna. Venus blushed and stared at the cat in disbelief. "He...what?" "Don't forget the time he blew up most of Mercury during the Sailor Sol experiment," added Artemis. "How awful," said Tsuki as she scrunched her face up in disgust. "Um, yeah," muttered Usagi uncomfortably. "Oh stop that!" snapped Luna. "Some of you used to swing that way back then you know." Usagi, Makoto, and Ami all turned pale at this announcement. "What?" "Really? Who?" said Minako as she leaned forward and smirked. Rei simply sat silently and pretended not to be interested. "We don't remember," said Artemis with a small shrug. "Imagine that," commented Minako flatly. "What are you guys talking about?" muttered Tsuki in confusion. "Oh, don't worry about it. It's nothing," said Usagi cheerfully. "Kay," said the girl as she shrugged the comment off and went back to her food. +++++++++++++ Ranma stood just outside the gates of Furinkan High with a scowl on his face. In his hand was a letter of challenge that he had received yesterday evening. It was evening, but a small crowd of students had come to watch the fight. The boy chucked to himself when he saw the look on Nabiki's face after he had told her that he had already sold the information about the fight. She was there, running the betting pools, so it wasn't a complete loss to her. "Where is the jerk though?" he muttered to himself as he looked down at the note. "So, you decided to appear?" said a familiar voice from nowhere. "Mousse, you dip. Where the hell are you?" The challenger ignored him and continued to speak. "Heh, I almost went home to China to train you know. I realized that martial arts wouldn't be enough to beat you though." "Quit foolin around. I got school tomorrow," snorted Ranma irritably as he glanced around for the boy. "You won't be in any condition to attend school after I'm through with you," said Mousse's voice from the shadows. "You see, I went to the magic capitol of the world and improved my skills a hundred fold. Now, you'll never defeat me." "Great. Heard it all before, now come on out so I can kick your butt. I'm tired," snarled Ranma. As if in answer to that, two sparkling pyrotechnics appeared on either side of the gates of Furinkan. Ranma blinked and turned to see that someone was standing with his back to him and his arms spread wide. Music began too play in the background from somewhere and the strange figure was suddenly bathed in light from a spotlight. Ranma almost choked at what he saw. Mousse looked completely different. A pair of outdated sunglasses rested on the bridge of his nose, and his hair was now sticking straight out in front of his head in a long set of bangs that protruded four feet from his forehead. He was wearing a white jumpsuit with a small cape, the entire outfit was covered in rhinestones. He spun around to face Ranma and curled his lip. "Yer goin down, Saotome." "Good lord!" said Ranma in shock. "What the hell happened too you?" "The king lives on!" cried Mousse as he pointed his finger into the air. "It's Moussvis?" stammered the shocked martial artist as he staggered back from the scene. The small group of spectators who had gathered had yet to react. "Prepare to die!" said the Chinese boy as he swaggered forward. Every once and a while, he'd stop in an unusual pose before moving towards his opponent again. "Look you weenie," started Ranma as he cracked his knuckles. Mousse rushed forward suddenly, slamming a kick into Ranma's gut. "Hoo! Ha!" The ponytailed boy bent forward in surprise. "What the?" "Come on!" said Mousse angrily. "The capitol of magic?" muttered one of the students dumbly. "Las Vegas," confirmed Nabiki with a small nod. "At least it was interesting, even if it would be a rather short fight." "That does it!" cried Ranma angrily as his aura began to burn around him. "The 'King' dies again tonight!" Mousse never stood a chance, amidst the cries of pain an occasional "Hey! Watch the hair man!" would be uttered. Finally, it stopped. Mousse was laid out across the pavement. Ranma snorted and turned away from him. "You may have won the battle, but my baby will come too me. I've got more style than I know what to do with!" said Mousse from the ground. "No woman can resist The King. Not even my darlin Shampoo!" "Good luck then," said Ranma as he waved his hand without looking back. The martial artist was already on his way home. ++++++++++++ "Well, that was pointless," commented Ranma bitterly. "Aren't you two done yet?" Carrot and Dan were still laughing. Ranma was starting to grow irritated because it was causing his eyes to water. "Whatever," grumbled Ranma as he continued to walk towards the dojo. "I thought it was a very nice outfit," commented Pissant. "You two should really be more polite." Their trek home was interrupted by a familiar voice. "Ranma." ++++++++++ All of them stopped dead in their tracks and turned to face Nabiki. "Huh?" said the boy dumbly as he turned to face her. "What's up?" "I'm getting tired of you getting in my way," she said coldly as she stepped out in front of him with her arms crossed over her chest. "Huh?" said the boy in obviously feigned ignorance. "What do you mean?" "It was cute at first, but it's starting to cut into my profits. I can't accept that," she said firmly. She had a yellow envelope in her grasp and handed it to him. He took it from her and smiled as he looked at the contents. It was photos of the two of them making out. "Hey! I remember this!" he said cheerfully. "I'm willing to make them disappear, if you'll stop bothering my business," said the girl with a smirk forming on her face. "Huh? What are you talkin about? Can I get some copies of these?" said the boy cheerfully. "If my father finds out about these..." she said in a warning tone. "He'll be ecstatic. You don't think he really cares which one of you I marry do you?" Nabiki blinked and looked at him for a moment. "You cheated on my sister! He'll..." "Simply switch the engagement. After all, our destined love must have been much more exciting since we had to hide it away. Besides, Akane and I have an agreement about the whole marriage thing. Neither one of us is actually taking this engagement seriously." Nabiki was almost in shock. This had worked in her favor every time she had tried it before. Even the toughest of boys caved in to her demands once she presented evidence like this to them. Many fearing what their parents would say, while others fearing their girlfriends. "Come on, don't look so surprised. I'm actually a little disappointed that you didn't think this through a little better. It isn't like you at all," said Ranma as he shoved the photos back into her chest. Nabiki growled and looked down at the ground in disgust. He was right, she let her temper get the better of her. That had caused a laps in judgement, she screwed up, and he came out on top yet again. She glared at his back for a moment and her frown deepened. "Wait a minute." She rushed up and grabbed him by his shoulder. "What? Did you have something else?" It was also a real turn on. Ranma froze as the girl grabbed his head roughly and kissed him. She broke the kiss and stepped back for a moment. "Hey! Wait a minute, look Nabiki..." started the boy nervously. "Oh shut up. I don't want to go out with you," she snorted. "I'm sure as hell never going to marry you. So what is the problem?" The boy blinked and looked at her for a moment. "Problem? What problem?" "Good," she replied as she shoved him in his chest and into some bushes. He fell back and vanished from sight. "Men," she muttered as she rolled her eyes and went after him. ++++++++++++ "Wow," said Dan as they sat on the porch the next day. "..." said Ranma. "I feel so violated!" cried Pissant. "..." said Ranma. "Who coulda known?" muttered Carrot. "I told you we should have picked her." "..." said Ranma. "I agree with you," said Dan as he rubbed at their back for a moment. It was still sore. "..." said Ranma. "She definitely wasn't an amateur, that's saying a lot for someone her age," commented Carrot. "..." said Ranma. "We need to talk to someone, we've been raped!" whined Pissant. "Raped? I was enjoying myself," commented Dan. "..." said Ranma. "Me too," agreed Carrot. "I don't see a problem." "But, we took away her purity! Now we have to..." "Nabiki Tendo was anything but pure," snorted Dan casually. "..." said Ranma. "Hey, by the way Ranma. Now we might have gotten Nabiki pregnant, just for future reference," said Carrot cheerfully. "..." said Ranma. +++++++++++++ "Hey, it's mom," said Ranma as he looked up and saw his mother standing in the doorway. "Hello," she said with a small bow of greeting. "Auntie Saotome!" said Akane happily. "It's good to see you dear," said the woman cheerfully. "Is my husband here?" "Naw, he's still too scared to show his butt around here when you come over," said Ranma cheerfully. "I think it had something to do with the 'fur coat' incident." "Oh dear. It seems he's escaped me again," said the woman sweetly as she sat down next to Ranma. "I look so good in black and white too." "You'll catch him," said Ranma with an encouraging smile. "I hope so," she agreed cheerfully. The Tendos all looked pretty uncomfortable with the conversation. It was far from abnormal when the pair had gotten together in recent times. The family had gotten along well at one point. Ranko made her appointed visits when the woman showed up, and Genma got more and more frustrated. Finally, he announced that they were going to take a trip to Jusenkyo, and destroy the curse once and for all. Naturally, Nodoka had taken offence to this. She'd grown rather fond of her 'daughter' and forbade it. After all, in her mind, it was the same thing as murder. Genma loudly voiced his own ignorant opinion of women in general, and the effect the demon girl was having on their son. The cherry on top of it had been his announcement that the girl had to be destroyed, for the sake of the family of course. Things went downhill from there. Ranma couldn't have been happier. That bothered the Tendos more than anything else did; Ranma didn't even look slightly uncomfortable as his mother pulled out a cookbook from China. It was an older book, and detailed several ways to prepare panda for human consumption. Fortunately for them, Nodoka returned home soon enough and left Ranma with them once again. "Boy! What do you think you're doing?" snapped Genma. "You've got to tell your mother the truth at once!" "Why? So we can both be under the knife instead of just you?" said the boy calmly as he sipped at his tea. "Don't be stupid boy, we'll..." "This is your mess old man. I'm perfectly safe as things are now, you would be too if you had kept your mouth shut. If I say anything now, especially after playing 'Ranko' for so long, she'd kill the both of us." "That's not the point!" snapped Genma. "Really? I didn't think you had one," said Ranma lazily. "Pretty darn selfish of you to try and drag me along with you to the grave I'd say." "Really Saotome, he's right," commented Soun. "How can the schools be united if you're both dead?" "Tendo?" muttered Genma in shock. "I'm sorry to be so harsh, Saotome. He is correct though, it is better if only you die, and thus our schools will be united and continue on. Besides, I'm sure you can work this out with your wife. It'll just take a little time." "I dunno, she seems really attached to that barbecue recipe Mr. Tendo," commented Ranma. Genma began to cry, and Soun tried his best to comfort his friend. ++++++++++++++ Beryl stood before the dark cloud and bowed deeply. "So, the generals have escaped us have they?" Beryl growled, her anger flashing in her eyes, she dared not look up at Metallia though. "We'll just have to destroy them," said the dark cloud coldly. "As you wish, but it is difficult to gather energy with only myself. Your awakening will take more time I'm afraid." "No," said Metallia coldly. "I have another way." Beryl finally dared to look up. "What?" Four dark shadows seemed to melt from the evil energy surrounding her. They remained still and hidden in the darkness. "Who?" "Youma Lords," said Metallia. "More powerful than those foolish men who betrayed you." "I thank you," said Beryl as she bowed even deeper to the thing. "Do not fail me again, or I shall replace you next time." "I... understand," said Beryl. ++++++++++++ TBC... Next Time: School, yet again!