Insertion Part 5: Dream a Little Dream... by Sean D'Anna ===== Ranma Saotome stared in horror at the man he used to be. Both Dan and Carrot stood behind him, stifling giggles as they watched the scene in amusement. "Aye! I've come to meet me bride!" said Genaku rather loudly as he walked through the hallways of the palace. He was followed by a large group of guards, who did not even attempt to stop him. Most of them had worried looks on their faces as they moved after him. "Everyone is scared of this guy," commented Carrot as he followed the crowd with his two companions. "I like him," said Dan cheerfully. "You would!" snapped Ranma. "Shhh, something's happening," said Carrot with a grin forming on his face. Setsuna appeared around a corner, scowling at Genaku coolly. "What are you doing here?" "Eh? Ye dunna know?" snorted the man with mild surprise on his face. "I am not omnipotent, you blowhard," snorted the Senshi of Pluto. "Humph, I figured you ta be buttin in on everyone's business, the way ye always do," replied Genaku with an unimpressed look on his face. "I am the defender of the future," said the woman calmly. "Ha! Manipulator is more like it! I've no respect for ye woman! I do not cower before any force, like these weak fools," snorted Genaku arrogantly. "Humanity survived long before ye ever got yer little claws on that magic, and he will continue ta do so without yer help." "Perhaps, but I can ensure the peace that we have achieved will come again, even after it is lost." "But you canna stop us from losin it can ye?" Pluto's eyebrow twitched, but she did not reply. "Har! I knew ye was jest blowin steam out yer arse!" snorted the man roughly as he continued to walk towards the throne room. "You still haven't told me where you're going," said Pluto, her voice as cold as ice. "Nor do I intend ta," said the man as he rounded a corner. Pluto clenched her fist and glared at him, seething in anger. "Don't just stand there you dolts, go after him!" she snarled at the dumbfounded guards. Genaku had been a thorn in her side for as long as she could remember, and probably would be for some time to come. After all, he was as immortal as she was. She just wished the morons would finish their stupid 'game' so they would finally lose their immortality. Some of them were almost as bad as Genaku, but he was probably the worst of them. Even the ones, who sided with the dark powers, still didn't get under her skin the way he could. "I'll deal with that moron later," she snorted as she turned and went back about her business. "I wonder what the queen has summoned me for? I suppose I shall find out soon enough. Probably something stupid, like when the princess's first pimple will be again." Serenity was a great ruler, and a wise and strong person, but some things she couldn't quite grasp. Like the fact that the time gate was not intended for small and personal events. Such as how old her daughter will be when she has her first period. Setsuna had never seen anyone turn that red in her life, after her mother had asked that question in front of the whole court, the princess had almost passed out. It probably would have been better if she had really. +++++++++ "I like this guy!" said Carrot as he watched Genaku ignore the pleading of a minor court official. The unfortunate man was begging him to hurry to the throne room, in order to have his audience with the Queen. After all, she was waiting for him. Genaku looked up at him for a moment, and grunted. He had decided to raid the kitchen, and was sitting at a table with a huge leg of meat in his hands, along with a large mug of some obviously alcoholic beverage of some kind. Carrot and Dan would have guessed it was Ale or Beer. It appeared to be a swirling green and purple though. "Go away little man, before I become angry with ye!" he snorted and continued to tear into the meat. "I thought I might find you in here," said a familiar voice from behind both of them. "Uh-oh," said both Genaku and the old man in unison. "Ducking my summons in favor of food again?" said Serenity as she sat down next to the pair with a mischievous looking sparkle in her eyes. "Well, I can't come ta meet ye on an empty stomach yer highness. Yer beauty alone gives me butterflies. You know how those things upset my delicate constitution..." "This from a man who is reported to have taken out a man's heart and eaten it whole?" said Serenity with an arched eyebrow. "Well, that report was exaggerated a wee bit, Highness," muttered the man in embarrassment. "Oh really?" said the queen as she leaned in towards him. "Aye, 'twas too big ta fit in me mouth whole. I had ta take a few bites first," said the man cheerfully. "Oh," said Serenity blankly. She had been expecting him to deny the affair, and hadn't really believed the report when she had heard it. "So, ye have arranged a meeting with my future bride today?" he asked timidly. "Yes," said the Queen as she stood up and motioned for him to follow. The pair walked through the hallway together silently. After a moment, they entered the throne room. Setsuna was sitting in a chair off to the side looking rather bored, and strangely upset. Genaku caught something about not believing that something was happening to her. Then she paused and stared at him. "What? Her?" said Genaku with a rough snort. "NOOOOOOOOOOOO!" screamed Pluto. "You...you can't do this to me!" she pleaded as she fell on her knees in front of the queen. "Oh! How nice, you already know each other?" "He blew up my moon!" snarled Pluto as she stood up and jabbed her finger at him. "It was jest a teeny thing though..." he muttered. "It was the only one I had!" snapped the Senshi bitterly. "I jest got a wee bit excited, 'twas all," muttered the man as he blushed. "What did I do? Why am I being punished?" said Pluto as she fell to her knees in front of the queen again. "I swear I'll never do it again!" "Punished? You two seem like you might be good together, that's all," said Serenity sweetly. "Good?" muttered Genaku under his breath. "No! We'd be terrible! I hate him! Look! I've even been trying to kill him in secret for the last hundred years!" Pluto brought out a large stack of rather elaborate looking diagrams, charts, and blueprints. All of them seemed to involve sabotage, or somehow beheading someone and making it look like an accident of some kind. "Har! I knew it!" said Genaku proudly. He looked rather pleased with himself. "Too many accidents over the last few years!" "Oh, I'm sure you'll get along fine," said Serenity as she turned and walked towards her throne. "The wedding will be in two weeks." The now engaged pair simply looked at her, unable to do or say anything. +++++++++ "This is all your fault!" snarled Pluto as she stormed down the hall with Genaku at her side. "My fault?" he said in disgust. "Twasn't! I had nuthin ta do with this plot against me!" "Against you? She's doing this to punish me!" snarled Pluto in retort. "Look," said Genaku with a frown. "We both know why she's doing this ta us. She loves weddings, and will do anything ta have one. There's no way we're gettin out o' this." "You're right," said Pluto as she slumped down against the wall. "We'll go through with this, and then go on as we always have. I never had any plans to get married anyway." "Aye, I know," said Genaku as he turned away. "What the hell is that supposed to mean?" snarled Pluto. "Isn't it obvious? A frigid bitch such as yerself could never net her claws inta a decent man anyway," said the man coolly. "I'll have you know I could have any man in the solar system if I wanted him!" she snarled. "I know I'm beautiful!" "Ya look like you've been standing too close ta Sol, you half baked ninny." "It's an exotic tan you nimrod! I get plenty of compliments!" snapped Pluto in retort. "Whatever, but you're forgetting one thing, pet," said Genaku as he turned away from her. "I never forget anything," said Pluto bitterly as she glared at him. "Oh, then ya do remember?" said the man with a small chuckle. "Remember what?" said Pluto with her head turned aside. "That the only thing Serenity loves more than weddings, is babies," said the man as he continued to walk away, chuckling to himself. Setsuna stood in the hallway, completely pale, with her jaw hanging down. She staggered for a moment and leaned against the wall again, her eyes wide with horror. Genaku was right; Serenity would expect her to produce, or else. The queen would know that both of them were genetically compatible. Children were just a matter of time, especially considering the technology Mercury had. They had drugs that would make her fertile periods predictable, to within five minutes. +++++++++ Genaku walked out of the palace and paused as a long scream echoed through the hallways for a moment. Flocks of birds scattered into the air from within the palace walls. He turned back towards the large transport that would take him back to the Silver Star, the flagship of the queen's fleet. "General! Are you ready to leave sir?" said one of the men beside the docking ramp. "Aye," said Genaku with a small chuckle as he passed by him and returned the man's salute. ++++++++ A freezing cold splash of water ended the dream quite suddenly. All parties suddenly sat upright at one time and looked at Genma Saotome as he stood over them with an empty bucket. "Ye fat furball! I'll tear out ye hide and use it ta cover the hole in me wall I get from putting yer head through it!" snarled Ranma as he jumped up and slammed the man out the window and into the koi pond. Ranma froze in shocked horror and put his hands over his mouth. "Ha-ha! That was classic!" said Carrot as he shook the water out of their hair and chuckled merrily. "I had no idea you were so cultured, Saotome," agreed Dan cheerfully. "You two jerks shut the hell up!" snapped Ranma. "Come on, we've got to get ready for school," muttered Carrot as he walked them towards their closet. ++++++++++ Nabiki watched lazily as Genma fell out of the sky and landed in the koi pond. "Yet another normal morning," she commented as the panda sat up, looking confused. "Son?" said the sign it held up, as it looked up at the window of the bedroom it had been thrown from. "Here I come Pop! Get ready!" said Ranma as he leapt from the window. +++++++++++ "Pardon me good sir, but where might I find a place called Furinkan High School?" "Pardon?" said the man walking down the middle of a rather deserted and worn looking road in the countryside of Japan. "I'm looking for this place you see. I've gotten rather lost," said the stuffy looking teenager who stood in front of the downtrodden looking peasant. The man looked at the map of Tokyo in the boy's hands and frowned. "This is Tokyo, that's five hundred miles north o' here." "Oh! Oh my! Bother," muttered the boy as he walked off, in exactly the wrong direction. "No! That way!" said the man angrily. "That way!" "It's this way then?" said Ryoga as he turned at a ninety-degree angle, still moving in the wrong direction. +++++++++ Ranma was in the middle of a rather deep problem. "Tell me why it is I must give to you?" snapped Kuno angrily. "Oh man, this part," muttered Ranma under his breath as he rolled his eyes. "What do you mean, Kuno?" The boy said it as if he was reading lines off a cue card. "Quoth Nabiki Tendo, 'If you wish to give your gift to the pigtailed girl, give to Ranma Saotome." "She doesn't like you Kuno," said Ranma flatly. "Lies! What sort of woman would not be attracted to such manly continence as myself?" "A lesbian?" offered Ranma with a small shrug. "I shall not allow you to spread such lies about my pigtailed goddess!" roared the kendoist angrily. "All right! Jeeze! She thinks you're too stuffy, she doesn't like handsome rich types," said Ranma calmly. "So, my money and power frighten the young flower of my heart?" said Kuno with his eyes growing wide. "Yeah! That's it exactl..." Ranma was cut off by a splash of cold water from the bushes. "Oh! How I have pined to see you again!" said Kuno as he grabbed the currently female teen in a rough hug. "My ponytailed goddess!" "Look you jerk! Leeme alone!" snapped the ponytailed girl as she glared at him angrily from his grip. "Come! We shall leave these hallowed halls of learning, so that we might date together!" said Kuno as he ignored her protests. "Look, Kuno..." said the girl with a seething anger in her voice. Nabiki appeared from behind the bushes with a teakettle. "Oh Ranma, what am I going to do with you!?" she said merrily as she poured it over the girl's head, changing her back into a man in Kuno's arms. "What have you done with the ponytailed goddess?" snarled Kuno angrily as he looked at Ranma. "We're going to have to explain this to him," said Nabiki in disbelief. "Look Kuno babe, her body, her s..." she was cut off as Ranma put his hand over her mouth. "I don't need your help, thanks," he said with a small wink. He grabbed Kuno by his collar and began to drag him away. "Unhand me knave!" roared the boy. "Shut up, I'm going to tell you all about the 'ponytailed girl'," said Ranma calmly. Nabiki narrowed her eyes and watched him take the boy away to a quiet corner of the school grounds. ++++++++++ "What is the meaning of this?" ranted Kuno as he struggled against the ropes that tied him to a tree trunk. "Release me at once!" "Just relax, I'm going to explain everything to you now, this is just to make sure you behave, and pay attention," said Ranma cheerfully. The boy put down a bucket of water, and a teakettle on either side of himself and reached into his pocket. "What is this?" said Kuno as the boy attached something to the ropes. It had a long string tied to it that led into Ranma's hand. "A hand grenade," said Ranma calmly as he sat down. "What?" muttered Kuno as he suddenly went very still. "Good, I've got your attention," said Ranma cheerfully. "This will not go unpunished," snarled Kuno as he nervously eyed the explosive that hung in front of his chest. "Calm down Kuno, no amount of 'prowess' will save your sorry ass if I pull that pin," said Ranma with a small wave of his hand. "This is for your own good. Just pay attention and listen, and I won't have to hurt you." "I see," said Kuno with an unusual calm. "All right, now watch very closely." Ranma poured a little of the water over his head and shifted forms. "Ponytailed girl!" said Kuno in shock. "Yup! Now watch again, don't blink now," said the girl with a small wink. She used the kettle next, shifting back to male form. "What sorcery is this?" gasped Kuno as he struggled against the ropes. "Return the ponytailed goddess to me at once!" "Ah, ah, ah!" said Ranma as he waved his finger and tugged on the string lightly. Kuno froze and fell silent again. "Good, I'm glad you remembered." "Explain," said Kuno as he turned his head away. "Fine! It all started when I was training in China..." ++++++++++ Nabiki Tendo stood in terror stricken silence as she watched Ranma play with the string attached to Kuno's chest. He had an almost casual air about him. "Where the hell did he get that?" she gasped after a moment. She was afraid to move out of her cover, the bushes kept her well hidden, but she now felt she was far too close to the scene. The camera she had brought sat unused in her grip, for fear of alerting the insane Ranma of her presence. She simply sat, and watched. ++++++++ "So, you fell into this cursed spring, and forced the soul of the lovely ponytailed girl into your black heart?" snarled Kuno angrily. "No Kuno, she doesn't have a soul," said Ranma. It was clear that he was growing tired of explaining this to him. "No, soul?" said the boy in a sort of horrified wonder. "Kuno, we aren't two different people, both the ponytailed girl, and myself are the same. There is no difference," said Ranma with a heavy sigh. "Get it?" "So you use base sorcery to fool me, so that you can breech my defenses and fell me while I am weak?" snarled Kuno. "God! Are you that stupid? I'm trying to help you!" said Ranma flatly. "What do you mean? How does this assist me?" growled Kuno as he lowered his eyes to the grenade. "Because, I can't have you chasing me around telling me that you love me, get it? What would everyone think? A man of your noble stature, chasing around a man? It wouldn't be right!" "You speak the truth," admitted Kuno quietly. It was clear he didn't like the idea. "Good, you're getting it now. I'm not gay, so I don't want you chasing after me. Plus, if anyone found out about my curse, your clan would be dishonored. So if you understand, it benefits us both," said Ranma with a friendly smile on his face. "This does not excuse you from forcing yourself upon Akane Tendo!" said Kuno as he glared at the boy angrily. "Fine, fine," said Ranma as he waved the comment off and removed the grenade, much to the protest of one of the voices within his head. "So, you admit that your actions are cowardly?" snorted Kuno. "Look, you can have Akane Tendo, I don't love her," said Ranma calmly. "Yet you still?" snarled Kuno as he attempted to jump up again. "Do I have to use the grenade again?" said Ranma flatly. The same voice cried out triumphantly inside his head. "That will not be necessary," grumbled Kuno as he turned his head away. "Look, the engagement to Akane isn't my idea. If you've got a problem with it, go talk to Soun Tendo and Genma Saotome. They're the ones who arranged everything. My hands are tied," said Ranma flatly. "You claim that you have no feelings for Akane Tendo?" said Kuno as he glared at the boy. "She's a nice girl, but not my type. My dream woman has long green hair, and red eyes..." Ranma sighed wistfully as two of the three voices inside his head pictured Setsuna. Kuno frowned and realized that Ranma looked ridiculously like a love stricken schoolgirl at the moment. "Surely a lie! No man can resist the allure of Akane Tendo's feminine wiles!" "Are you sure we're talking about the same Akane?" muttered Ranma as he looked at Kuno dumbly. "Silence! Release me at once! I shall smite you for having such thoughts about my beloved!" "Fine, I guess that was a bit too much to hope for," muttered Ranma as he knocked Kuno upside his head and untied the ropes. The kendoist slumped to the ground unconscious. "It'll be kinda fun beating on him every day I suppose." He stood up and smirked at a patch of bushes off to the side. "You can come out now." Nabiki froze, she swallowed and looked around, desperately hoping there was someone else hiding in the bushes. "Look, I know you're in there Nabiki. Relax, I'm not gonna hurt ya," said the boy calmly as he walked over and stood directly in front of her. Nabiki stood up and glared at Ranma angrily. "What did you do to him?" "Huh? He's fine, relax would ya?" said Ranma with a small chuckle. "This is just something I picked up in China. Nothing to worry about, I wouldn't waste it that way anyway. They're pretty expensive." He tossed the grenade in his hand once, and then slipped it into his sleeve. "And illegal," said Nabiki with a small cold frown. "So is loan sharking, racketeering, and selling pornographic photos of your sister without her knowledge," said Ranma with a small chuckle as he showed her several snapshots of Akane working out in the dojo. He tossed them on the ground casually at her feet. "Those are hardly pornographic," said Nabiki coolly. "Yeah, Kuno's too stupid to risk selling the good photos too. You're very selective about who you will give those pics too. I've seen a few of em hidden inside the palms of some of the boys around campus, or tucked inside the back of a locker or two." Ranma casually flicked his ponytail over his shoulder and smirked. "I'm kinda partial to the 'Akane in the bath' series myself. It's a wonder no one ever took pictures like that of you...oops!" Ranma put his hand to his cheek and looked at the ground for a moment. Nabiki looked at the ground as well, hidden within the photos of Akane, was a single picture of her washing off on the stool in the bathroom. "No way!" she gasped. "Yeah, it'd be a real shame if these got around the school somehow," said Ranma as he walked off and left her standing with the unconscious Kuno, and the photos. He paused about ten feet away and looked over his shoulder again. "I wonder what she would do, if she ever found out about those pictures? Hmm, an interesting dilemma. Don't worry, I don't mind the ones of me you've been selling, but I expect a cut of the money. Word around school puts em at around five thousand yen apiece. I'll expect a payment of ten percent, by tomorrow. Bye!" Nabiki had never felt so violated, she wanted to destroy him, she wanted to scream, she wanted to cry, she wanted...to marry him. She smiled to herself and picked up the pictures carefully. "And here I thought you'd be some boring jock. Very interesting Ranma Saotome, very interesting indeed." +++++++++++ "I told you those photos would pay off in the end," said Carrot. Ranma was still sulking. The whole episode didn't sit well with him, he hated the way things were going. "It isn't right! This isn't the way a martial artist should act!" "Well, I'm no martial artist, not by choice anyway," snorted Dan irritably. "I still say we should have killed him." "We can't slack off in our training, we've got a whole mess of shit coming down on us soon," said Carrot with a sort of wistful calm about him. "We need him, and his stupid battles to keep us sharp. I just wanted him to quit hitting on us." "This is dishonorable!" continued Ranma with a bitter trembling in his voice. "Shut up! Damn you honor boy! I'm sick of your whining! What would you know about honor? Do you realize what kind of man your father is? I bet he's the one who taught you about honor, right? Do as I say, and not as I do or something?" said Carrot sharply. "This isn't right," said Ranma firmly. "Fine, you worry about right, I'll worry about what's best for us," said Carrot as he calmed again. "Ranma, you've got to quit sulking around so much. I'm the brains of this operation, Dan is the muscle when we need it, and you're, well, you're our skill. We all need each other for this to work out." "He's right, we've got to work out a compromise, or we'll end up getting ourself killed," agreed Dan. "And before you even think it, Akane isn't a compromise," said Carrot sharply. "Hey! I don't like that uncute tomboy!" replied Ranma. "Good, keep it that way," said Dan coolly. "Neither of us likes her either." "Ranma, have you ever just tried having fun with this? I mean, you're taking this so seriously. Relax, enjoy having us around, we're going to be here whether you're happy with it or not." "I'd rather die," snapped Ranma coldly. "Fine, you might get your wish," said Carrot with a shrug. "You'll lose your mind if you keep fighting us. Come on, we're not all that bad." "Shut up," snorted Ranma bitterly. "Let's go home, I don't feel like school today," said Dan as he turned them towards the gates. ++++++++++ Setsuna looked into the Time Gate and frowned, an image was becoming clear at last. Slowly, a shadowy figure appeared in the mirror. It was only a silhouette, but it was enough. She smiled and her headache almost vanished completely. "Oh, this is too perfect," she said with a small chuckle, a chuckle that slowly built into full blown laughter. The image before her revealed the source of the chaos at last. Ranma Saotome was looking at her coldly, with two ghostly figures on either side of him. "I had thought you'd been killed, but apparently I was wrong. Genaku McTome, you've changed sides it seems. Now that you oppose the queen's will, I can destroy you at last." Soon, Artemis would receive a call from his anonymous benefactor again. This time, the target would be clear at last. The Senshi of Pluto had not been so happy in over a thousand years. ++++++++++ "Furinkan High School..." muttered Ryoga as he stood directly in front of his destination. His face was buried inside a road map of Tokyo. "Where is the blasted place?" One of the students nearby overheard him and was about to speak. Ryoga turned away at the last moment though. "Oh! A telephone box! I'll call information!" The student watched in shock as the boy walked into a bright red phone booth that had appeared next to the wall of Furinkan. He managed to catch a glimpse of another confused looking gajin inside the booth, just before the whole thing vanished. "Um, never mind," said the boy as he wandered off. Swearing never to leave his house again, or make another phone call for as long as he lived. ++++++++++++++ TBC... Next Time: Venus Attacks! The way to Nabiki's heart...